How to Survive Babysitting the Jolie-Pitts
What would you do if you landed a babysitting gig for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s brood of six children?
Not to worry, I’ve created this wonderful set of easy to follow guidlines in case you ever need to know how to survive babysitting the Jolie-Pitts!
1. Start off by taking two Tylenol thirty minutes before you arrive because Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh, Pax, Vivienne, and Knox are not going to be giving you much rest.2. Make sure to bring a minimum of four childrens harness/leashes. It may look ridiculous and be borderline inhumane, but you do not want to lose one of Angie’s kids! Remember Changeling? Yeah.
3. You can not go wrong by bringing G.I. Joe action figures. In fact, if you bring a bag of Barbies to tomboy Shiloh, she may just end up shoving them somewhere you really do not want them to be.
4. Hide the copy of Gia. I just don’t think the kids are at the age yet where they would quite understand why mommy was naked lesbian using drugs.
5. Stock up on various colors of Manic Panic hair dye, because you never know when Maddox wants to get fierce!
6. Medium brown bag? Thank you Bloomingdales, but little fashionista Zahara is going to need the big brown bag. Take Vivienne and Zahara shopping and some major girl time.
7. Be fully prepared to take all six children (on leashes) to Toys R Us in the event that they begin to get bored.
8. Kids still bored? Take them on a play date with the Stefani-Rossdale boys!I call that a win, win.
9. Don’t forget your passport! The Jolie-Pitts are the royal family of jet setting. You may pick them up to babysit in New York and have to drop them off in Uganda.
10. Can you picture Pax running around like a mad man while Shiloh is taking apart the television and you’re trying to make sure that Knox gets a bath while Vivienne and Zahara get Angelina’s Chanel makeup all over everything and Maddox is trying to find the keys to the family car? You’re going to need Supernanny Jo on speed dial.