Coachella Alternative: Broachella

Yeah I guess Coachella is cool and all if you’re into stuff like bands and parties and drinking and sunshine and laughter, but I’m not. I’m into broaches. So I present to you, one of my two dream Coachella alternatives: BROACHELLA.

Broachella, the broach lover’s faire and marketplace, would take place a the Airport Hilton in Phoenix, Arizona. Why? It just would.

Here are some of the highlights of Broachella:

CAT BROACH CORNER

Love cats? Love broaches? Then this is the place for you my friend. Grab yourself an appletini and mosey over to the north-west corner of the Rimrock Bar and Grille for all the feline fun you can fit on a sterling silver safety pin.

BROACH GAMES

You better save your energy for these rousing board games! We have Broaches and Ladders, Broaches to Broaches, and of course the family favorite Broachopoly! (It’s like Monopoly! But with broaches!).

This is what the Top Hat piece looks like in Broachopoly. So cool right?

DIY-APALOOZA

Pull up a chair at the big table in the Cactus Conference Room on the 6th floor for some crafternooning. Grab a glue gun and some rhinestones, and get busy on your own broach-ations (that’s broach creations!). There will be a contest at the end of the day, and Best Broach wins a $50 gift certificate to either Applebee’s or Houlihan’s, your choice!

Last year’s winner

SPECIAL TOPICS LECTURES

Hungry for more broachledge (that’s knowledge about broaches!)? Drop into the Salamander Suite for one of our fascinating lectures including “The History of the Broach” by Dr. Norma Jenkins (did you know the earliest known brooches date back to the Bronze Age?).

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

So why waste your time hob-knobbing with good looking people in the desert when you can be in Phoenix having a broach of a time!

See also: YOCHELLA (AKA Mo Desert Mo Problems)