Things That Are Funnier Than Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino

So, last night was the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump. And among the celebrities chosen to appear and comment on the man who tried to copyright “You’re Fired” was Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from The Jersey Shore.

No, I don’t know why.

His attempts at “comedy” probably left a lot of people wondering exactly WHY he was asked to participate. A sampling of the, um, jokes he told:

“By the way, who’s John Boehner? Check it out. Doesn’t his name sound like boner? Anyone notice that . . . boner?”

The height of wit.

Anyway, maybe Comedy Central just had trouble finding funny people to appear at this show. So, in order to help them in the future, I present:

THINGS THAT ARE FUNNIER THAN MIKE “THE SITUATION” SORRENTINO: A PICTORIAL RETROSPECTIVE.

POTATO PANCAKES:

They’re pancakes…made from POTATOES. HILARIOUS!

STREET CLEANING SIGNS:

Reading these is a laugh-a-minute romp when compared to The Situation.

THIS DUDE’S BEARD:

HAIR! ON HIS CHIN! HA!

YOUR AVERAGE GOLDFISH:

It doesn’t even have to be a particularly SMART goldfish to be funnier than The Situation. Any old goldfish will do.

YOUR GRANDFATHER TELLING YOU TO CUT YOUR HAIR, YOU HIPPIE/ASKING YOU WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO SETTLE DOWN AND START A FAMILY:

Bonus points if this leads to him telling a story beginning with “Back in MY DAY…”

MIXED TOCOPHEROLS:

That’s a fancy term for “Vitamin E,” mostly.

THIS TOASTER:

CARLOS MENCIA:

…okay, maaaaaybe not that one.