Question of the Day: Which Vice Can You Do Without?

Today is Mardi Gras. That means something in French. I like to call it Party Gras, because you know, I like making up my own things. Mardi Gras is the last HOORAH before Lent starts. Lent is this religious observation where you give up something for 40 days and nights because this one dude went into the desert and was tempted by this mythical beast or something and only ate bread or I DON’T KNOW.

I used to know but now I don’t care. If you are all sensitive about religion, I apologize for offending you. Please don’t send me nasty letters or anything. Well, you can because it will make my day more interesting but maybe you shouldn’t. I take things on the internet very seriously.

A little known fact about me is that I spent my time pretending I was Catholic. I was brought up in a traditional Roman Catholic household, which meant that we went to church at Christmas and had the fear of going to hell and feeling CONSTANT guilt burned deep into my young soul from an early age. Thanks, parents.

Anyway, one of the things we did every year was observe Lent. That meant that we gave something up for 40 days because JESUS did it. If Jesus wore army pants and flip flops, I probably would’ve done that, too.

Usually, when you are tiny, you give up dumb things like CANDY and SODA or other things that you really don’t need. Despite my many attempts, I couldn’t give up school or homework.

As a big people, you give up other things that mean a little bit more. Like booze or I dunno, is there anything more important than that? There probably is, I just haven’t found it yet and that’s why my best friend is a genie at the bottom of a bottle that keeps disappearing every time I finish some stout (and I have to keep looking for him else where).

Another thing that happens during Lent is that you give up eating meat on Fridays. OH BUT YOU CAN HAVE FISH. Strangely, this lead to my becoming vegetarian and in later years, my being vegan. At the turn of the millenium, I gave up eating meats, lost a bunch of weight, and just stuck with it. The funny thing is, I stopped believing in any sort of Theism/Spitituality while my diet became more awesome and less tainted by the most delishuz of aminals.

Lent is now upon us and I’ve decided to ask you today’s Q. I am thinking about giving up the booze for a bit. The thing is, I have a party to go to on Caturday (the 12th) and Ganesh forbid I be sober. We’ll see.

If you were going to observe Lent,

which of your vices would you give up?