Dear Musicians: Could You PLEASE Stop Glamorizing Date Rape?
The Frisky reported that Brian McFadden, a pop-star who apparently gets a decent amount of press in the UK has released a song called “Just the Way You Are (Drunk at the Bar).” The song is a club-ready tune (read: techno’s back in again, so let’s do it REALLY BADLY) that features a hook that’s…um…
I like you just the way you are, drunk and dancing at the bar, I like it, and I can’t wait to take you home so I can do some damage I like you just the way you are, jump in the back seat of my car, ‘Cos I like it, and I can’t wait to take you home so I can take advantage.
…okay, see, that’s…yeah. That’s date rape. See, that part where you say “take advantage?” Yeah. Yeah. That’s REALLY the wrong phrase there. If you were to do something like this in real life, if you were actually to do what you’re singing about here, you would be RAPING HER.
So, why am I so upset about a (terrible) song? I mean, it’s just LYRICS, right? Well, maybe it’s because I’m sick and tired of seeing date rape glamorized in music. Dr. Dre and Eminem did it in “Guilty Conscience.” Motley Crue did it in “Saints of Los Angeles.” BrokenCYDE and The Millionaires make a living off of it. And I’m sure there are plenty more I’m not even able to list here.
Look, I know we’re used to the idea of a rapist as a shadowy figure who breaks into your apartment or grabs you off the street and forces you to have sex with them. But in reality, 73% of victims KNOW their assailants. 38% of rapists are friends or acquaintances. 28% are an intimate parters. If you REALLY wanna be depressed, go read more of the facts and figures that RAINN offers on their website.
You know what this means? Date rape is A SERIOUS PROBLEM. And it doesn’t help to have it glamorized to people via songs.
On top of all of this, the US Government recently tried to pass a law that would change how federal funding for abortions can be used. The current law says you CAN’T use federal funds for abortions unless the pregnancy is the result of incest or rape. But the NEW law they tried to get passed through would change it so that you could only use government money if it was “forcible rape.”
Which led a lot of people to go “Um…what exactly do you qualify as ‘forcible rape?'”
Look, women who are raped, any kind of rape, already have to deal with a stigma of victim blaming, people telling them they were dressed wrong/too sexy, that they sent signals implying they wanted it, that they had flirted with their rapist or had previous dated them and had it coming, or, of course, that they shouldn’t have gotten so drunk and put themselves in danger. This is thrown out rather than what seems to make more sense: pulling guys aside and saying “DON’T RAPE.”
And personally, I’m sick and tired of seeing reenforcement of the “rape is a cool thing/it’s okay if she’s drunk” idea via music, no matter the genre or the popularity of the performer.
Rape is bad. Can we all at least agree on THAT?
