8 Moments with Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez at The Oscars After Party

In which they look like miniature people

In which Selena claims guardianship of Bieber’s knee

In which they are trailed by a headbanging blond

In which they interlock fingers, and in non-verbal language that translates to–we’re TIGHT, bro

In which Selena reminds J-Biebz just how good his new haircut looks

In which they admire each other’s teeth

In which they check TWITTER

In which Bieber attempts to work the word ‘swag’ into as many text messages as possible