Five Things You DON’T Ask Celebrities About on Twitter
Ah, Twitter. You, like so much of the internet, allow us to have the illusion of being close to a celebrity while at the same time ensuring they have no idea who we are. You’re an Andy Warhol-like scheme to achieve internet fame: if someone famous replies or retweets you, suddenly you look like you’re on the same level with them. It’s not quite an invitation to the Factory, but in our modern age what is?
Unfortunately, with that feeling of closeness, it also seems like a lot of people lose their sense of appropriateness…or in some cases shame. And while many celebs might have a Twitter run by their “people” or an intern, some actually do read and update their feeds. And there are really some things they probably don’t need/want to hear about.
I can’t speak for everyone, but here’s a handy list of 5 things you don’t need to ask celebrities about on Twitter:
1) Relationship Status. Look, if a celeb wants to share dating news with us, they will. Otherwise? It is none of our business. And honestly, a lot of the time the “are you dating so-and-so” Tweets are coming from people who want the answer to be “no,” and who will, for whatever reason, be upset by the fact that this celebrity is dating someone who is either someone the fan doesn’t like or is just not the fan themselves.
Along with this, Tweets about “OMG, HOW CAN U BE DATING HIM/HER?” are also out. They can be dating him/her because they LIKE him/her and want to be dating him/her. There are celebs I like dating people I don’t like. I deal with it. Trust me, you can, too.
2) Break-up Rumors/Explanations. This is more of a band-related thing, but seriously, guys. If a band has just broken up or lost a member, odds are they have a prepared statement about it. And it’s pretty much a sure thing that they aren’t going to break away from the prepared statement just to answer your question on Twitter. And really, while you might be as desperate as I am for juicy gossip on, say, why a drummer and a band suddenly split, not every bit of drama needs to be aired to the internet and the fans.
And even if you GET an explanation, it might not be the real explanation or the one you’re looking for. Look at the recent Paramore drama, you’re getting two sides of the story, a lot of contradictory information, and guess what, there is probably truth to BOTH sides of that story. In the end, the band has split, it kinda sucks, we move on.
3) Fanfiction. DEAR GOD, DO NOT ASK CELEBRITIES ABOUT FANFICTION, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.
I’m sure your Pete/Patrick epic has a ton of reviews on Livejournal and has people weeping over your prose. That is awesome, I’m very happy for you, PATRICK STUMP DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT.
There is a very, very creepy line when it comes to fanfiction. Especially fanfiction about real people. I think fanfic can be a great writing exercise and as a fantasy it’s something that can be safe and healthy for people…but at the same time, you do not tell the people you’re writing about that you’re writing about them. It’s bad form, it makes you look creepy, it makes other fanauthors look creepy and, really, why the hell would anyone ever need to know you were writing about them doing your stand-in Mary Sue/their bandmates?
There are some exceptions to this, bands like Cobra Starship have talked about fanfiction, but the general rule should really be to avoid mentioning it. Cobra Starship should not be the set example for ANYTHING. That’s just a good rule of thumb.
4) When are you playing [city, state, town]? If you’ve noticed, this list is very band oriented, but that’s because a lot of the interaction I witness online is with bands and musicians. And nothing drives me crazier than seeing people demand from artists “WHEN ARE YOU COMING HERE?” It happens on Twitter, in interview questions and on any kind of live stream chat I’ve ever seen.
I’ve been guilty of, once in awhile, complaining about bands not playing Pittsburgh in articles or in comments. Nobody’s perfect. But the point is: most of these bands do not set their tour schedule. That is handled by someone else. Meaning that you pestering them about playing your city is not going to work.
You’re actually much better off going to a site like Eventful.com, signing up and letting your local promoters know you’d like to see a band come to your town/state/country. Much more effective.
5) “Will you go out with me?” No. They will not. Just stop.