Explaining The Video: Avril Lavigne ‘What The Hell’

Avril Lavigne’s new video is for her single “What The Hell?” And trust me, that phrase becomes very, very useful while watching the video.

Okay, so…she’s in bed. With a guy. What the hell?

Oh, I see she’s still pretending to be a skater girl. What the hell?

And remember, kids, nothing says “punk rawker” like a giant flat-screen TV. What the hell?

So, Avril wakes up with her boy and they’re being kinda cozy-like. And, hey, if you’ve got a guy that good looking in bed you might as well. What the hell, right?

But then Avril decides she wants not part of that. Which is totally okay, she has the right to make that choice, but I’m betting that dude is going “What the HELL?”

But no, Avril wants to put on an oversized men’s shirt and walk around her apartment in her undies. Hey, what the hell, if that’s what she wants, right?

And now she’s doing her hair and putting on some…perfume…wait…

WHAT THE HELL? Could that product placement BE any more obvious? Was that REALLY necessary?

But then we’re right back to the plot of the video, with Avril’s boy coming over to smooch some more.

Awwww, that’s kinda sweet! 😀

Wait…what the…

In case it’s not clear what just happened? Um, she just locked that guy in her closet.

WHAT THE HELL?

Look, I get that you’re going for “bad girl” here, Avril, but, um, that’s not “bad.” That’s “potentially psychotic” and DEFINITELY abusive. You can’t just lock somebody in your closet like that…and that’s not just me talking. It’s a legal thing.

Granted, legal issues don’t seem to be your forte…

…because you proceed to walk outside and steal a Taxi.

Several things wrong with this

• it’s a total asshole thing to do. If that cabbie can’t drive his car, he can’t make any money
• it’s also EXTREMELY ILLEGAL. According to what I dug up online? You just committed a felony. You’re looking to face at LEAST a hefty fine, probably community service and possible JAIL TIME.

WHAT THE HELL was your reason for doing this? For shits and giggles?

Oh, no, wait.

You did it to make the guy you just LOCKED IN A CLOSET chase you on a bike.

WHAT. THE. HELL.

Oh well, while you’re racking up crimes, you might as well add one more:

Yeah, you just rammed that cab you stole into another car and walked away. That’s leaving the scene of an accident…which is illegal. According to my research, you’re looking at another fine and potential jail time.

Okay, okay, so what terrible thing are you going to do now?

Oh…um…play pick-up basketball. What the hell, how is that “bad girl?” Is this a Canadian thing I’m just not understanding?

But then the guy shows back up and she takes off.

While her new basketball friends try to stop the guy from going after her.

Because they are obviously not aware that she just LOCKED HIM IN A FUCKING CLOSET.

So, what does Avril do now? Why, what any girl would do!

SHOPPING!

At a Vintage Clothing Store!

Um, okay, I don’t tend to associate Avril with Vintage Clothing. What the hell?

But of course, she’s tracked down here, too.

And then she makes this face:

“Oh, golly! I bet he’s still mad about that locking him in the closet thing!” WHAT THE HELL?

But then, she finds something that makes it ALL better:

WHAT THE HELL?

WHOA. WHOA. WAIT. IT GETS BETTER/WORSE! LET’S REWIND REAL QUICK. REMEMBER THIS?

WHAT THE HELL?

WHY WOULD A VINTAGE CLOTHING STORE BE CARRYING AVRIL LAVIGNE’S CLOTHING LINE?!

But obviously this excites Avril and results in her showing the same lack of anything resembling logic she’s shown through this whole video: she proceeds to shove the rest of her potential purchases into the hands of the guy who was just chasing her down FOR LOCKING HIM IN A CLOSET. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THIS? WHAT THE HELL?

All so she can grab one of her own teeshirts.

OMG, LOOK! IT SAYS “WHAT THE HELL!” AND THE NAME OF THIS SONG IS “WHAT THE HELL!” THAT’S LIKE, ALL IRONIC AND SHIT, RIGHT? RIGHT?

WHAT THE HELL?

Okay, so now Avril changes clothes in the dressing room and throws her old outfit over her shoulder to her boy.

Who stands there and catches them.

DUDE, WHAT THE HELL. WHY ARE YOU HOLDING HER CLOTHING? GO TO THE FUCKING POLICE. I KNOW, I KNOW, “OMG, I’M DATING AVRIL LAVIGNE!” BUT IT’S BECOMING CLEAR THAT AVRIL LAVIGNE MAY IN FACT BE DANGEROUSLY UNBALANCED.

Case in point: after changing, she just walks out of the store without paying.

Resulting in you having to pay for her TO WEAR CLOTHING FROM HER OWN FASHION LINE. WHAT THE HELL.

So, your immediate response is to go after her and…

…publicly make out with her in the hallway of a dark club.

WHAT. THE. HELL.

But not just any club! A club with SPONTANEOUS AVRIL LAVIGNE CONCERTS!

BUT DON’T FORGET! SHE IS A BAD GIRL! LOOK:

ONLY BAD GIRLS EXPRESS ANGER VIA VULGARITY!

MAKE THAT VIA VULGARITY AND PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

VULGARITY, PRODUCT PLACEMENT AND CROWD SURFING!

So, how is this all gonna wrap up, you ask? Easy.

Adorable reunion!

Potentially disinterested cuddles! Possibly to result in closet confinement again!

What the hell?

*sigh*

So, yeah. This is definitely an appropriate video for a single called “What The Hell” but probably not for the reasons Avril and her people would like to think.

If you REALLY wanna watch the whole video (and what the hell, I can’t stop you) go here.