Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’: Chapter 9

In the ninth chapter of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Harry, Ron, and Hermione escape the Burrow and face surprising consequences of doing so. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.

CHAPTER 9: A PLACE TO HIDE

Everything is so fucked up right now.

I have spent all day thinking about that final line in Chapter 8. “The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming.” I tried my best to convey my own horror at reading these words, along with their matter-of-fact delivery, but I think it’s something all of us just understand at this point. It’s sort of genius for Rowling to end the wedding this way because it’s sleight of hand: we were focused on the wedding, on the revelations about Gregorovitch, and Aunt Muriel’s possibly-blasphemous, possibly-true gossip regarding Dumbledore. Our brains were rumbling with possibilities and the last thing I was thinking about was Voldemort’s desire to topple the Ministry.

I wonder if Harry will feel any guilt for that last conversation he had with Scrimgeour before he did. My guess? No, not at all.

Anyway, this is another one of those moments where I completely regret deciding to read this one chapter at a time. And look…who is going to complain if every so often I read a couple at a time? YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT.

  • Everything seemed fuzzy, slow. Harry and Hermione jumped to their feet and drew their wands. Many people were only just realizing that something strange had happened; heads were still turning toward the silver cat as it vanished. Silence spread outward in cold ripples from the place where the Patronus had landed. Then somebody screamed.

What a deplorable situation. This is at a wedding. The Death Eaters literally ruin everything.

  • As they pushed their way across the dance floor, Harry saw cloaked and masked figures appearing in the crowd; then he saw Lupin and Tonks, their wands raised, and heard both of them shot, “Protego!”, a cry that was echoed on all sides—

I just want to state something. For the record. When I read that final line in chapter eight, I figured that this chapter would deal with the space of time before the Death Eaters showed up, focusing on the reactions of all the characters. In fact, I’d almost imagined this entire scene as they all rush to figure out what to do, where to hide, and whether they should battle the Death Eaters.

Never once did it occur to me that these are fucking wizards and they can travel to places instantly. So reading that the Death Eaters already arrived? Totally took me by surprise. Look, I have no idea what’s going on in my brain sometimes. Did I think they were going to take public transportation to the Burrow? Hi, guys, I’m an adult.

  • And then Ron was there. He caught hold of Hermione’s free arm, and Harry felt her turn on the spot; sign and sound were extinguished as darkness pressed in upon him; all he could feel was Hermione’s hand as he squeezed through space and time, away from the Burrow, away from the descending Death Eaters, away, perhaps, from Voldemort himself….

Yeah, so back to what I was saying…I was completely surprised that just a page after the chapter starts, they’re gone from the Burrow. This means my expectations are wrong and I’m in uncharted territory. Where exactly did they go and what are they going to do there?

What this chapter demonstrates is Hermione’s dedication as a friend and her resourcefulness. (It demonstrates something else, but we’ll get to that in a second.) She takes them to Tottenham Court Road in Central London, which is a brilliant idea: take them to a very public place full of Muggles. Despite that Death Eaters are attacking and killing Muggles, there’s nothing that outright in their attacks; according to what we’d heard from the Prime Minister, Muggles still thought it was all natural disasters.

As Harry and Ron freak out about what they’re going to do, but Hermione, unsurprisingly, has everything planned out. Maybe a bit more than usual, but she’s way ahead of everything.

  • ”It’s okay, I’ve got the Cloak, I’ve got clothes for both of you,” said Hermione. “Just try and act naturally until—this will do.”

Wait, how on earth does she have all of this with her?? They were running around for only a minute or two before Apparating to London.

  • ”When you say you’ve got the Cloak, and clothes…” said Harry, frowning at Hermione, who was carrying nothing except her small beaded handbag, in which she was now rummaging.

    “Yes, they’re here,” said Hermione, and to Harry and Ron’s utter astonishment, she pulled out a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, some maroon socks, and finally the silvery Invisibility Cloak.

    “How the ruddy hell—?”

    “Undetectable Extension Charm,” said Hermione. “Tricky, but I think I’ve done it okay; anyway, I managed to fit everything we need in here.” She gave the fragile-looking bag a little shake and it echoed like a cargo hold as a number of heavy objects rolled around inside it. “Oh, damn, that’ll be the books,” she said, peering into it, “and I had them all stacked by subject….Oh well….Harry, you’d better take the Invisibility Cloak. Ron, hurry up and change…”

WHAT THE HELL!!! How did she know to bring all this? When did she find the time?

  • ”I told you at The Burrow, I’ve had the essentials packed for days, you know, in case we needed to make a quick getaway. I packed your rucksack this morning, Harry, after you changed, and put it in here….I just had a feeling….”

Bless your heart, Hermione. There was something a bit disconcerting about this. The idea that she was just up-and-ready to leave everything behind…something about that is kind of sad. She’s given up her parents, she’s given up her education, and she is going to face death. I love it and I love her for it, but there’s something wistful about it.

After they change into Muggle clothing, the confusion sits in. They take refuge inside a small all-night café. Was it weird to see Hermione order cappuccinos? It’s weird to me because I don’t think anyone in the wizarding world drinks coffee. Seriously, Rowling? WHERE IS THE COFFEE?

Like most moments in this book, I don’t get much time to think about these small details.

  • The two workmen made identical movement, and Harry mirrored them without conscious thought: All three of them drew their wands. Ron, a few seconds late in realizing what was going on, lunged across the table, pushing Hermione sideways onto her bench. The force of the Death Eaters’ spells shattered the tiled wall where Ron’s head had just been, as Harry, still invisible, yelled, “Stupefy!”

    The great blond Death Eater was hit in the face by a jet of red light: He slumped sideways, unconscious. His companion, unable to see who cast the spell, fired another at Ron: Shining black ropes flew from his wand-tip and bound Ron head to foot—the waitress screamed and ran for the door—Harry sent another Stunning Spell at the Death Eater with the twisted face who had tied up Ron, but the spell missed, rebounding on the window, and hit the waitress, who collapses in front of the door.

Real talk: I know it wasn’t that possible, but I truly believed for a millisecond that Ron was going to die here. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because he was bound, but it didn’t feel right. I’m so glad he didn’t, but it was a frightening thought. I can’t really explain it otherwise.

  • Harry picked up his wand and climbed over all the debris to where the large blond Death Eater was sprawled across the bench.

    “I should’ve recognized him, he was there the night Dumbledore died,” he said. He turned over the darker Death Eater with his foot; the man’s eyes moved rapidly between Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

OH BOY. Harry, facing the Death Eaters who contributed to Dumbledore’s death? Is this going to be utter chaos????

  • ”What are we going to do with them?” Ron whispered to Harry through the dark; then, even more quietly, “Kill them? They’d kill us. They had a good go just now.”

    Hermione shuddered and took a step backward. Harry shook his head.

    “We just need to wipe their memories,” said Harry. “It’s better like that, it’ll throw them off the scent. If we killed them it’d be obvious we were here.”

OH, DRAT. I mean, this actually does make sense and I am glad Harry isn’t involved in any murdering, but I WANTED HIM TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS LIKE I PREDICTED. Because….I don’t know? What am I saying.

Let’s have a moment to L O L heartily:

  • Ron struggled for a moment before managing to extract his wand from his pocket.

    “It’s no wonder I can’t get it out, Hermione, you packed my old jeans, they’re tight.”

    “Oh, I’m so sorry,” hissed Hermione, and as she dragged the waitress out of sight of the windows, Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his wand instead.

Hermione, when have you ever been so dirty? Hermione, you are simply the best.

All right, back to being absolutely serious and never laughing at anything ever. I can’t figure out how they found Harry and followed him to Central London and neither can our trio. Was it the Trace Harry had on him? Could the Death Eaters use anything in the Ministry to actually put a Trace on him?

I think that’s what’s so scary about all of this. With the Death Eaters controlling everything, absolutely anything is possible. I can’t even dream of some of the answers to this. ROWLING, YOU HAVE ME IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND. That also sounds way grosser than I intended it to. Great.

Let’s talk about Grimmauld Place instead of focusing on my terrible word usage, ok?

Harry suggests Grimmauld Place as the location for them to hide and it’s actually such a perfect idea that I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me. It’s riddled with curses, traps, and enchantments to keep Death Eaters out and to keep Snape from using it. One of those curses is pretty strange and jarring:

  • ”Severus Snape?”

    Mad-Eye Moody’s voice whispered out of the darkness, making all three of them jump back in fright. “We’re not Snape!” croaked Harry, before something whooshed over him like cold air and his tongue curled backward on itself, making it impossible to speak. Before he had time to feel inside his mouth, however, his tongue had unraveled again.

    The other two seemed to have experienced the same unpleasant sensation. Ron was making retching noises; Hermione tammered, “That m-must have b-been the T-Tongue-Tying Curse Mad-Eye set up for Snape!”

I’m sort of confused. What exactly does this curse do besides make it impossible to talk? It doesn’t seem very helpful at all. OK I MAY REGRET THIS BUT WHATEVER: If this is not a spoiler, can someone please explain to me what on earth this accomplishes?

  • Gingerly Harry took another step forward. Something shifted in the shadows at the end of the hall, and before any of them could say another word, a figure had risen up out of the carpet, tall, dust-colored, and terrible: Hermione screamed and so did Mrs. Black, her curtains flying open; the gray figure was gliding toward them, faster and faster, its waist-length hair and beard streaming behind it, its face sunken, fleshless, with empty eye sockets: Horribly familiar, dreadfully altered, it raised a wasted arm, pointing at Harry.

Ok, THIS IS FRIGHTENING. Is this like an even more fucked up dementor? I don’t like this at all. This is not my favorite thing yet.

And it’s not really confirmed, but was this a dementor-ized Dumbledore? Again, still like on the bottom of my list of things I enjoy.

This is all pretty terrible and it seemed that just around this time was when I started thinking about the gravity of this situation. What happened at the Burrow? Did anyone die? What are they supposed to do? Thankfully, Mr. Weasley sends his weasel Patronus (IT STILL MAKES ME LAUGH THAT IT IS A WEASEL. REALLY, JK ROWLING? REALLY?) and lets them know they are ok, but they’re being watched. Which…ok, so are Death Eaters just hanging out outside of the Burrow? How does that work? I SHOULD STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND JUST WAIT FOR THE ANSWERS.

There’s one last moment of importance in this chapter. Harry has another vision of what Voldemort is experiencing and it is possibly the worst one yet: Voldemort is forcing Draco to torture the Death Eater who failed to capture Harry.

  • He was spread-eagled on the cold black marble floor, his nose inches from one of the silver serpent tails that supported the large bathtub. He sat up. Malfoy’s gaunt, petrified face seemed branded on the inside of his eyes. Harry felt sickened by what he had seen, by the use to which Draco was now being put by Voldemort.

I want Draco story. Now. He is clearly unhappy and might even be feeling remorse for spending six years playing to these sort of people. And now that he has to do their actual work and make their beliefs reality, he looks like he’s having a change of heart.

OH GOD MUST STOP READING THIS ONE CHAPTER A DAY.