Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’: Chapter 2
In the second chapter of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Rowling continues to shatter everything we’ve ever thought of the whole series by STILL not focusing on Harry. This time around, we meet some Death Eaters and everything is so terribly fucked up. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.
CHAPTER 2: SPINNER’S END
Oh my god. You guys. What the fuck did I just read. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
WHAT THE FUCK
I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what to think. I’ve been blindsided by Rowling’s info dump RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FUCKING BOOK. She didn’t wait until I begged for more backstory near the end; instead, she’s like LET ME JUST BLOW YOUR MIND RIGHT FROM THE START.
I don’t know what to write. I seriously don’t. By the time I got to the end of this chapter, I realized I would immediately have to re-read this series once I’m done with it. She just changed everything.
NO SERIOUSLY, GUYS. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. SNAPE HAS BEEN A DEATH EATER THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK.
I had just gotten interested in him enough to think that there was something more to his hatred of Harry and the strange way he’d been acting but NO, HE REALLY IS JUST AS FUCKING EVIL AS HE SEEMED. Which I am ok with, by the way, but SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!
Oh my god and then there’s the reveal at the end of the chapter. That Voldemort has tasked Draco with doing something? That might involve him dying? IS HE GOING TO TRY TO KILL HARRY. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. I mean, there’s still the possibility of the whole SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE BULLSHIT, especially since Snape says he’ll watch over Draco and step in if he needs to, but doesn’t all that happen in book seven? I swear that’s when those trolls rolled out on the Internet and why I know that spoiler; I seem to remember that happening in 2007 when the last book came out. PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE. What am I saying, I AM NOT EVEN GOING TO READ THE COMMENTS, TO BE TOTALLY HONEST.
I am also going to take a moment to say how utterly impressed I am. Here’s a giant info dump, done in conversation, about a pivotal change in the entire series. And, again, IT IS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE BOOK. Like WAY TO FRAME THE ENTIRE NOVEL SHOWING THAT EVIL IS TOTES WINNING. This is goddamn brilliant.
Ok BACK TO FREAKING OUT. SNAPE. OH MY GOD. WHAT THE FUCK!!!! This seriously changes everything I read. Is this why Snape was such a dick to Harry during Occlumency lessons? And why he jumped at the chance to stop teaching him? He wasn’t opening Harry’s mind to the Dark Lord; he was just doing THE VERY WORST JOB OF STOPPING IT.
ohhhhhhhhhhhh mmmmyyyyyyy ggggggggooooooooddddddd my brian hurts i have to take a break oh my god bellatrix and narcissa and lucius and everything that just happened. ooohhhhhmmmmmmyyyyyggggggggooooooodddddddd