Eminem ft. Rihanna ‘Love the Way You Lie’

This is not an Explaining the Video. This CAN’T be. Explaining the Video, as a series, was designed to mock, snark and send up music videos.

But Eminem’s new video doesn’t call for any of that. It doesn’t deserve it. The song and video both chronicle an abusive and toxic relationship, following a couple played by Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan as their abusive relationship destructs and completely destroys them.

At first, knowing the subject matter, I was very, very scared that the video was going to feel exploititive. And knowing some of Eminem’s history with gender politics and abuse issues, I was scared to hear what he had to say on the matter.

And yet: the video portrays abuse in such a real fashion it left me crying by the end. The video doesn’t paint Monaghan as a heartless villain who schemes to hurt his girlfriend, nor do the lyrics. It’s not a black and white look at the issue, because the issue itself is not entirely black and white.

There are scenes of Monaghan giving Fox gifts, scenes of them being intimate with each other, all between instances of him beating her, violently screaming at her, attacking other men for being around her. It paints the nasty, nasty truth of abusive relationships: for all the bad things done to you, there HAS to be some good in there, otherwise why would anyone stay in that situation?

But as good as the good times are, the bad times can destroy one or both of the people in a relationship. And that’s what we see: in the final verse, we see Fox apparently about to leave Monaghan, despite knowing that she loves him (and that’s the kicker, even if someone is abusing you, with those good times, with how you feel, you may still very well be in love with them, even if you absolutely hate them). And we see Monaghan attempting to apologize, then growing angry, and finally not allowing her to leave while Eminem raps:

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn’t mean And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine But your temper’s just as bad as mine is You’re the same as me But when it comes to love you’re just as blinded Baby, please come back It wasn’t you, baby it was me Maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much to walk away though Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk I told you this is my fault Look me in the eyeball Next time I’m pissed, I’ll aim my fist at the drywall Next time. There won’t be no next time I apologize even though I know its lies I’m tired of the games I just want her back I know I’m a liar If she ever tries to fucking leave again Im’a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire I’m just gonna.

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

Break the Cycle or call their helpline at 1-888-988-8336

National Domestic Violence/Child Abuse/Sexual Abuse: 1-800-799-7233

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)