A Review Of A Review – Despicable Me

For some time now, I have been seeing ads pop up here and there with these cute yellow characters in them. Seeing as how I am on the internet all day, I decided to use my powers of the Google and search for what these were. With one mighty press of the return key, I came to find out that they are characters from the movie Despicable Me (which is out today).

In the movie, these fellows are known as “minions.” They are the henchmen of Gru (voiced by Steve Carell), a super villian who is bent on maintaining his status as such and stealing the moon. How exactly does one steal the moon? It’s not like you can hide that in your pocket or some giant fanny pack, right? I need to know more. What better place to find out about movies than RottenTomatoes. That’s where I found this gem of a review. Let’s take a look at what Mike LeSalle of The SF Gate had to say about this film.

For the full article, click here.

Look at those smiling faces! I don’t know about you, but I’m already having a good time. PASS THE POPCORN PLZ K THX

I get that Toy Story 3 rasied the bar for every movie, EVER. It’s not only a weep fest of epic sad tears but it’s just amazing overall. I must say, however, that just because Fellini made 8 1/2, not every movie after is a MOCKERY OF FILM.

I want to know how Gru plans to steal the moon. There had better be a “Is that the moon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” joke in there somewhere. I don’t know about you, but two villains vying for the title of World’s Best Bad Guy seems pretty engaging to me. I mean, all I have to do is sit there and watch, right? JSYK, sardonic means “characterized by bitter or scornful derision.” Basically, that’s me! Also, Spy vs. Spy is awesome.

I hate myself right now. Moslty because if Mike thinks that I could write this movie, then why didn’t i? Probably because I’m a failure. Thank goodness for blogging because now I can judge you from the safety of my parents basement where I sit on a milk crate while listening to Morrissey sing about why people suck.

Just a little tid bit of information for y’all about movie reviews – They are usually free for people doing screenings. The whole “it had better” line just rubs me the wrong way. I understand that you can never get your time back from sitting in a dark room with lots of other ADULTS watching CHILDREN’S MOVIES for free.

This is probably why I am not a movie reviewer. Watching movies for free would automatically put everything at a “B” grade level. That stands for “Best time ever already because it’s free.” I would hate to be the bearer of bad news in this situation. You are telling tiny children that the movie they want to watch with cute minions lacks depth and character development. I would hate to tell a 7 year old that this type of writing/movie isn’t forging any new ground because it’s all been done before. You know, because 7 year olds these days have already seen everything. Basically, this review gives a tiny child a giant balloon, pops it (which makes you sad for like a millisecond) and then before you know it, salvages itself with GLITTER BURSTING EVERYWHERE because much like this movie, it redeems itself in the end.

Will you be watching Despicable Me this weekend?