Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’: Chapter 20

In the twentieth chapter of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry, his friends, new and old, make it out of Hogsmeade and back to the grounds of Hogwarts. Unfortunately, a full moon appears and Lupin’s transformation ruins the momentary happiness they all experience. And then: dementors. D: Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.

CHAPTER 20: THE DEMENTOR’S KISS

Hello, guys. Uhh….this is a bit awkward for me…it’s the first time I’ve come to Dementor’s Anonymous. I always felt this place was a bit demeaning to our character. I’m sure you’ll all understand, but I’m glad I came. I’m glad I have the chance to finally talk about this.

I am addicted to despair.

Wow…wow. That feels good to say. Is it ok for me to feel good? Yes? Wow, this feels strange.

I was just like every other dementor, I suppose. Drifting through Azkaban, sucking the joy and hope and happiness out of the prisoners. It’s an easy life. People always try to believe that there’s hope, that they’ll get out. I was pretty good at making sure that they never did. It’s ok to be proud of that, right?

It all changed when that…Harry Potter came out from under the Whomping Willow. I feel bad. I shouldn’t blame my addiction on him. It’s not his fault, it’s not his fault…

Him and Lupin and Black exited that fateful day and it just so happened that there was a full moon that night. Somedays I wonder if I was meant to become addicted…I guess it’s not really the point, is it?

When Lupin began transforming into a werewolf and Pettigrew…that rat…when he broke free, everything changed for me. There was a group of us, us dementors, just on the edge of the forest, and we sensed that thing we love so much. Harry Potter had hope. Sirius Black had just offered to let Harry stay with him, freeing him from the Dursleys, and freeing him from his unhappiness.

It was perfect for me. Excuse me….sorry…it’s hard for me to talk about this.

Harry and Hermione followed Black into the forest. And we could feel them coming closer, so we took advantage. I remember sweeping in on Harry and I could feel his hope. You know how that feels…it’s impossible to resist. It feels so good to suck that right out of a person.

If I could laugh, I would have laughed at Harry’s attempt to cast a Patronus on me. He did a good job, at first, thinking about the life he was going to spend with his godfather, Sirius Black. It was a happy thought, one filled with hope and expectance. But it wasn’t strong enough.

I realized how strong Harry’s desire was to survive, to thrive, and to exist. And I realized it was my chance to take it all away.

I lowered my hood.

I know, I know. I know that every demetor deals with the kiss in a different way, and that it’s an intense experience for all of us. But it was my gateway into…what I’ve become now.

I couldn’t resist. Harry’s Patronus dissipated and I moved in, sucking the air with all my force. I could feel Harry’s essence escaping him and entering me.

It felt so amazing, guys. I could feel something I’d never felt before. A sense of power. I felt in control of myself. I felt like I could conquer the world. Like I’d suddenly discovered who I was, you know?

You all know what happened next, but I spent the next few weeks seeking out happiness. It started small at first. Finding unwanted, forgotten prisoners in Azkaban. Pulling down my hood in the middle of the night, sucking their spirit out of them when no one was looking, then disappearing into the darkness. It’s a good thing no one can tell us apart, right?

It got to the point where I…I went too far. They still haven’t repaired that guy from the Ministry of Magic who came to visit. He was feeling hopeful when he stepped on the grounds, and I couldn’t resist.

I’m here on orders from the Ministry, but I’m glad I’m here. I think I’d be here regardless, because I needed this. I’m glad you all allowed me to talk about this with you here, today, right now. I can’t tell you how relieved I am to be able to share this part of me with all of you. It means a lot.

I am a dementor, and I am addicted to despair. And now I’m ready to get help.