Why I Hate The Internet – Dancing Alone To Pony On Tumblr
1. Photos of cats
2. Unicorns (the dog that’s hating it’s life is just an added bonus)
3. Finding stuff from my youth like Officer Byrd
4. I can’t really show a photo of the next thing but it goes along the lines of this:
I know you’re probably thinking “OMG RICH! YOU FAP TO INTERNET PR0NZ!!!!” No, you pervert. I mean GIF’s. They are like presents the internet threw up into your mouth that you can taste for the rest of your life. The internet is full of things that make me LuLz IRL.
Anyway, lest I get into a “why I love the internet” fap spree, let me tell you why I hate the internet. Mostly the internet is a dangerous place and it’s full of people like me or like the people found here on Tumblr.
Dancing Alone To Pony is billed as being “Dedicated to the solitary soldiers keeping the grind alive.” This statement is TRUFAX. I am probz just jealous that I gots two left feet and I’m all busted looking but whatever. There is a plethoria of videos on this site of people gettin they grind on to Genuine’s song “Pony”. If you haven’t heard this song before, you were probably conceived somewhere while this jam was bein’ bumped at some house party (meaning you are too young.. yeah I need to explain my jokes because I’m not that funny) or you are probz Amish. Anypoop, here’s the song that gets everyone all freak-a-leek status:
My fave part of this song is the little sound effect that sounds like that one sound that’s made in Mario Kart. YALL KNOW WUT IM TALKIN BOUT! I want to show you every video on this site but there are ladies wearing short shorts that they donk is bustin’ out of or dudes grabbin’ on their man bits or other such travesties. This is probz the safest video to show you and I would totally dance with this chick IRL:
I totes wanna be her new BFF and be all up the club, sippin’ on Midori Sours and just bein’ messy with her. She looks like she’s havin a blast and this obvs isn’t a cry for attention because her dad never took her to the circus when she was little or something.
Anyway, have fun and enjoy the internet because I’m busy hating it.