Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’: Chapter 5

In the fifth chapter of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry and Ron make their second trip to Hogwarts. Oh, and EVERYTHING GOES WRONG. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to ready Harry Potter.

CHAPTER 5: THE WHOMPING WILLOW

J.K. Rowling, stop using adverbs.

I had to say it. Harry said STEALTHILY. Ron said BEARISHLY. Hermione said WISTFULLY. Snape said SNAPE-ILY. You get it. jesus christ, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY is there an adverb after nearly every “said” in this book PLEASE STOP my poor brain cannot handle it. 🙁 🙁

Also, I cannot wait until she stops summarizing the last book GOOD GOD but it’s ok because Ron Weasley is like the best thing ever.

As much as chapter 5 is packed-full of plot development, not much actually happens. Well, at least not a whole lot to talk about.

What I did like about Ron and Harry’s trip back to Hogwarts for their second year was how much it mirrored the first, only in the exact opposite way.

• Ron and Harry knew each other this time.
• Their journey isn’t on the Hogwarts Express. (Though it is in a sweet flying car!)
• Their journey is uncomfortable for an entirely different reason. (The first time around, Harry was entering a new world; this time, Ron and Harry realize that traveling by flying car is REALLY HOT and then REALLY COLD.)
• Harry’s entrance to Hogwarts is just as ceremonious, but also for the exact opposite reason: instead of his magical entrance into the castle, him and Ron crash into the Whomping Willow, which BEATS THEM (no lie!) and then they get TOTALLY BUSTED by Snape and Professor McGonagall. Oh and Dumbledore talks to them and just does SADFACE DISAPPOINTED-PANTS to them and it’s really sad.

I feel like this chapter just sets up the events of the book, as it hints that Harry’s second year isn’t going to be as positive as his first. So I’ll save a long, excited review until then.

So to close out this incredibly short review, here’s today’s daily dose of, “The Most Depressing Sentence in the English Language”:

• It was difficult not to feel jealous of Ron when he thought of the Dursleys and the sort of welcome he could expect next time he turned up on Privet Drive.

Can you hear that? It’s the sound of J.K. Rowling slowly crushing your heart into grains of sand.

Also, to clear up my post from yesterday: I’m not planning to POST reviews on the weekend. You’ll still have to wait until Monday. I am planning on writing/stockpiling extra posts so I can post more than one on the weekdays. On a day where I have two reviews, I’ll let you know there’s a second one coming.

THAT IS ALL, ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND.