Explaining the Video: Adam Lambert ‘If I Had You’
So, you guys remember a few weeks ago when I posted about Tyra Banks writing a series of YA Lit books? Looks like American Idol Alumni Adam Lambert wants in on it too, but he wouldn’t settle for a series of books. Oh no. Adam Lambert has made his series of Urban Fantasy YA Lit books INTO A MUSIC VIDEO.
It starts with the SEEMINGLY human Lambert and some SEEMINGLY inconspicuous product placement:
And like many totally 100% normal young men his age, Lambert is checking his Twitter:
Hmmm…”getting out of this concrete jungle?” That could mean ANYTHING!
Except what it does mean is that Lambert and his friends are going INTO THE WOODS. Sans Sondheim.
Hm. Misty forest, huh? Why do I feel like something is afoot?
Oh, I see that knowing glance, Adam Lambert. You’ve got something up your leather sleeves, haven’t you?
HOLY SHIT! THE FOREST IS GLOWING! THERE’S MAGIC EVERYWHERE UP IN THIS BITCH!
Hmmm…red lighting in a glowing forest? Wait. Wait. Adam Lambert isn’t human, is he? He’s some kind of fae. He’s gotta be.
AND HE IS THROWING A FAE RAVE!
Oh man. Best. Magical. Rave. Ever.
And these other people joining you, Adam. They aren’t human EITHER, are they?
Stop looking so pleased with yourself, with your spike-y shoulder things. I know what this is. You’re being joined by other faeries for some giant party in the woods and I was not invited.
Well, possibly because this party is an excuse for you guys to drop your human glamour and totally fae out, isn’t it?
I LOVE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT.
But if you thought Adam had already dropped his glamour, oh no. You’re totally wrong. Because the previous shots we’ve seen are Adam pretending to be human.
BEHOLD: ADAM LAMBERT IN HIS FULL FAE GLORY:
You must be magical, Adam Lambert. Your hat says so.
And you’re throwing one hell of a party.
This guy is certainly enjoying himself:
And then there’s…wait, what the hell is that?
It…appears to be a giant catepillar of some sort. So, either this is meant to be a magical catepillar, or this is the fae equivalent of being a furry. I don’t know which is more disturbing.
I kid. I kid. It’s obviously the “furry” option.
Okay, but Adam, so far this story has been light on a) performance shots and b) plot.
Oh, so now you’re going to try and combine the two, huh? Lemme guess, rock off against the Queen of Fae for the fate of the world? That is so blatantly ripping off Emma Bull’s War for the Oaks. And you know it.
Oh, don’t even try that smoothing me over stuff. Give me one good reason I should forgive you for that.
…DAMMIT. Those shoes are a DAMN good reason.
Okay, you win this round, Lambert. Rock on, you rebel Fae Prince, you. Rock on.
Yeah, I know. Like you needed my permission.
Never change, Glambert. Never change.