CRUSH OF THE DAY: The Hyperbole and a Half

Sometimes in Crush of the Day, I have a cute chaste little crush. But sometimes, as is the case with today, I have a borders-on-creepy-might-end-with-restraining-order crush (like with Michael Cera and Glen Bell inventor of Taco Bell may he rest in peace). Allie Brosh has a degree in human biological sciences from the University of Montana, likes Beowulf, and does the blog Hyperbole and a Half (ok so maybe I did some Google stalking). Like many of us she is hapharzadly and (like me) not always successfully navigating the waters of adulthood. Lucky for us she is documenting her journey, complete with charts, graphs, and drawings of zombies, killer geese, and velociraptors. When I read her blog, I feel much the same way I do when I watch 30 Rock, in that I know it’s funny however I am too consumed with relating to the plight of Liz Lemon to actually laugh (that Lemon woman is like a mirror on my soul).

Brosh’s post “Things that Can Make You Feel Like an Idiot Almost Instantly” is unnervingly accurate: see “Holding Other People’s Babies” (“…you will discover that babies are terrifying and they hate you”), “Not Having Pockets to Put You Hands In While Listening to Other People Talk” (seld-explanatory), and of course, “People of Indeterminate Gender.”

But what absolutely killed me was her responsibilty chart (from the post aptly titled “This is Why I’lll Never Be an Adult“) because someone SHE READ MY INNERMOST THOUGHTS. Please see below. And Allie, if you’re reading this, um, hi.