Kissing Gets You Pregnant
Did you know when Fall Out Boy sang “So what are you waiting for? Kiss her! Kiss her!” they were encouraging their female fans to be sexually loose and go to hell?
No? Well, then you need to watch this informative video!
This film, made in 1998, ensures that young women know:
- Only sluts kiss boys.
- If you kiss a boy, you will have sex with him and you will cry.
- If you date a boy who has kissed a girl before, he will try to kiss you, and if you don’t kiss him back he’ll tell his friends you did anyway.
- Your father gets to decide what boy is best for you.
- Christ hates kissing, but loves terrible bangs.
So, girls, if you want to be SURE you have a Good Christian Husband Your Father Will Approve Of (TM), you can only kiss guys who HAVEN’T kissed girls or, presumably, guys who don’t enjoy kissing girls. You know what this means? YOU CAN KISS ALL THE GAY MEN YOU WANT.