Explaining the Video: Muse’s “Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever)”
Today, folks, I won’t be explaining this video.
No, today I am please to announce we have our very first GUEST AUTHOR for explaining the video. Don’t worry, I’ll still be about for color commentary, but for the most part this will be on the shoulders of a very special personage.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your guest blogger for today, author of the best-selling Twilight saga, Stephenie Meyer.
Thank you very much. I’m very pleased to be here on Buzznet.com to write a bit about this video. It is very near and dear to my heart you understand, because the song is by my *favorite* band, Muse, and it is the lead single from the soundtrack for the new movie based on my best selling novel, Eclipse.
We begin with Matthew Bellamy, his voice dripping like sweet, syrupy, nectarous honey as he plays the piano and sings of the true love of Edward and Bella. For you see, theirs is a love for the ages, the greatest romance the world has ever known. For who else could understand the pain of being in love with someone utterly forbidden to them? Who else could comprehend the love between mere human and god-like vampire?
Um…I dunno. Buffy Summers? Sookie Stackhouse? Elena Gilbert? Mina Harker if you go by the Coppola adaptation of Dracula?
Hush, they don’t count. Bella is better than all of those girls combined. For she is in love with Edward Cullen. And she is well aware of how special that makes her. For only she can spend her time chastely kissing Edward in a field of flowers. And even if she is tempted, she knows that Edward will remind her that it would be wrong for them to truly be together until they’ve said their wedding vows.
But sweet Matthew will not just remain at the piano, oh no, for that would be a waste of his talents. No, he will rise, standing straight and tall and holding his guitar triumphantly over his head as if he has just conquered evil itself.
And then we see the truest testament of love there is. Edward presents Bella with her engagement ring, the ring that was his mother’s and that he passes down to her.
No, beautiful, illustrious….even…even..
No. Don’t say it. DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE SAY IT.
…damn. you. Also, um, why does Edward look like an elf here? His ears look pointy. Don’t tell me your vampires also have pointy ears.
Don’t you dare censor me. Any apparent mistakes or inconsistencies in anything related to Twilight are there because I meant them to be.
Besides, you poor, cynical girl, Muse is inspired by Bella and Edward’s true love. For here is where the music swells, it becomes swollen, it distends, it undulates, it becomes engorged, it…it…it…
Um, Stephenie? Stephenie, are you okay?
I’m fine, I was simply getting a bit carried away.
You look really flushed. You need some water?
No, no, we’re moving on to the important things. Because you see, even though Bella and Edward are truly in love, there is a problem. For Bella’s best friend and companion, Jacob Black, a werewolf, is also madly in love with Bella, and that foolish girl just will not understand that she can’t be with other men, even as friends, if she is in love with Edward Cullen.
Even if it does mean she will greatly miss the strong, solid, steady, enduring hugs against Jacob’s naked, muscular, heaving chest…
You’re looking flushed again.
It’s very warm in here. Could you be a dear and crack a window?
Back to our love triangle. You see, Bella has two men madly in love with her and this is the most important event that could ever happen in a woman’s life.
But this is inconveniently interrupted by VAMPIRES.
Um, Steph? You’ve got a whole family of vampires running around here. That doesn’t seem that dire.
No, you don’t understand. These are vampires who do not control their urges to drink human blood. They do not stand strong and resist the urge to penetrate willing flesh with their teeth and suck the juices from a human body. They are EVIL because they do NOT ABSTAIN.
You see? THIS is what becomes of young women who give in to their wanton desires without realizing the MONSTER it could make them into.
Call me crazy, but I don’t think you’re talking about blood anymore.
Of course I’m talking about blood. What else could I possibly be talking about?
But here, we see the Cullens, the good vampires who do realize that you must control yourselves, especially your women, to keep them from becoming insatiable creatures who desire nothing but their own pleasure. And you see Muse here with them, as they are the same way.
I…um…I don’t think Muse abstains as much as you want to believe they do.
Of course they do. They’re my favorite band.
Yeah, I KNOW. But I don’t think…
What, you truly believe the members of Muse are impure in someway?
Well, not impure, I’m just trying to say, I think they’ve had se-
MATT BELLAMY IS A VIRGIN AND I WILL BREAK THE SPINES OF ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.
Oh, look, an action sequence.
Yeah, I love how they included two of the three action sequences in the entire book in the video. To make it look like things happen in this movie.
Things DO happen. Bella is caught between two men! Isn’t that more exciting than evil vampires attempting to kill her?
Don’t deny it. This is riveting, watching two men fighting over me.
You mean fighting over BELLA, right?
Oh, look. Werewolves.
You know, a lot of these shots are of movie scenes. There’s really not much of Muse here.
You’re mistaken. Here’s some Muse right now.
But Bella’s in the background. That hardly COUNTS.
I will have you chased down by werewolves, you foolish human girl. Like Victoria is chased about Forks!
You’re still trying to make it look like things happen in this movie?
Plenty of things happen! Jacob punches his motorcycle!
Is that before or AFTER Bella breaks her hand while trying to fight off his attempt to kiss her, effectively sending the message of “If a boy makes uncomfortable sexual advances, it’s your fault and you’ll just get hurt trying to fight him off?”
I don’t know what you’re talking about. Besides, Matt is playing piano again. Just as Edward does. His fingers dancing over ivory keys, as pale as his marble white skin…
…you’re flushed again. I’m gonna turn on a fan.
And we end, of course, with Edward and Bella laying chastely in bed. Because they understand that sex should only come after you’ve had a public ceremony to cement your love.
Hey, Steph? For someone who’s all about choice, you sure do write a lot of things that make it seem like women who have sex before marriage are WRONG.
Well, of COURSE women are free to choose. They’re perfectly free to choose to be good women and pure wives and mothers who will earn their husband’s respect through restraint and humility. OR they can choose to be whores.
…okay, that’s it. I’m leaving before I do something that would, ultimately, land my ass in prison and, probably more importantly, get me attacked by your crazier fans. Wanna come with me, Matt?
Yeah. That’s what I thought.
Since I was so CRUELLY left here BY MYSELF, I feel the need to tell you that you can see this masterpiece of a music video by clicking this link.