Amanda Palmer To Wed – Guess Who?

Guess who’s finally tying the knot? After many years of courtship and poems and songs written about each other, Amanda Palmer is ready to wed her long time beau!

If you are like me, then Amanda Palmer and her magical, musical stylings mean something special to you in your heart. Her music can be described as the wall in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory with the Snozeberries on them, except instead of a wall, that pattern of fruits are on curtains and they add color to your Den of Melancholy. I kind of wish that Amanda Palmer would come out with a Snuggie that had a bunch of her lyrics on them so that I could wrap myself in them as I sit next to my fireplace and drink a cup of earl grey tea.

Looks like Amanda Palmer is getting hitched, according to her newest blog on Tumblr. She also posted this very CREEPY photo of her and her soon to be manchum forever on the astral plane:

Trust me, I’m not sippin’ on any haterade here. This is probably a match made in the starry sky. It was also probably sent to earth in a magical star that hit the ground and shattered into two pieces. These pieces were then placed into lockets and placed around the necks of two babies swaddled in blankets that were then separated and placed on opposite ends of the globe. The story of how they got back together and realized that they were meant to be because of their star crossed lockets can probably best be told by Amanda Palmers soon to be Overloard of her heart, Neil Gaiman.

That’s right. Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman, probably one of my fave writers of fantasy ever, are getting hitched. When I was in high school, I used to hide my acne riddled face behind long purple bangs and read Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman comics all by meself as I sat in a stairwell and listened to The Cure’s Disintergration on repeat with my CD Walkman. Suck it. But anyways, these two are to wed sometime in the future and I couldn’t be happier.

Seeing as how the King of Fantasy and the Queen of Songs That Make Me Want To Take A Bubble Bath With Votive Candles are getting married, I belive a make believe wedding that makes me want to sleep under a shade tree in a meadow full of butterflies is in order. Which do you think is more likely to happen?

Wedding 1 –

This ceremony will be held undergound, in some catacombs that no one ever knew about until Neil went digging around a cemetary in some fallen eastern block country while researching for a new novel. As the bride and groom and kept apart, some of the spirits of the catacombs steal Neil away to a land that only Amanda can get to by singing songs that put the guards of the underworld into a trance. Once under her spell, the guards escort Amanda through the underworld, lead her to the king of some dismal wasteland and an epic fight ensues when Amanda is “awakened” into her true form, the Angel of Fire. That happens because a golden hummingbird drops nectar on her from the flowers that bloomed from the forbidden tree of dispair. She then demolishes the evil king and releases the prisoners of underworld which include (but are not limited to) faires, dwarves, leprachauns, sprites, and dragons. Neil and Amanda are reunited and marry on the astral plane and live forever in their hearts.

Wedding 2 –

Neil hires Duran Duran to play a wedding where everyone comes dressed as the Adams Family. The end.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Feel free to write!