Allow Me to Pre-Emptively Mock You
So, Fall Out Boy announced to MTV today that, after the end of their tour with Blink-182, they are going on an indefinite hiatus.
Some vintage FOB for the occasion.
I can hear your screams already, fangirls. Trust me. Also the wailing and gnashing of teeth. So I’m going to cut in here, right off the bat, and post what you’re already thinking of posting or may have already begun typing. Just so I can get in on the ground floor of idiocy.
OMG IT’S TTLY ASHLEE’S FAULT!!!!!! SHE MADE PETE BREAK UP THE BAND BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T WANT HIM TO BE MORE FAMOUS THAN HER AND BECAUSE SHE’S JUST USING HIM AND SHE PROBABLY GOT PREGANT ON PURPOSE TO RUIN HIS CAREER (EVEN IF BRONX IS A CUTIE, LOL, HE’S LUCKY HE DIDN’T GET HIS MOM’S OLD NOSE) AND SHE DID! I KNEW WHEN THEY GOT MARRIED THAT SHE WAS GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING AND BREAK-UP FALL OUT BOY BECAUSE SHE’S A WOMAN AND WOMEN ARE INHERANTLY EVIL, THAT’S WHY I ONLY HANG OUT WITH GUYS (ARE ANY BOYS WATCHING? DO THEY LOOK IMPRESSED?)!
AND PETE LET THE MONEY AND FAME GET TO HIS HEAD! WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE BAND LIKE PATRICK? WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO! BECAUSE YOU KNOW THIS WAS ALL PETE’S CHOICE, THE OTHER GUYS NEVER HAVE ANY SAY IN ANYTHING THE BAND DOES! IT’S A DICTATORSHIP RUN BY PETE, A PETETATORSHIP AND HE RUINED FALL OUT BOY BY GETTING FAMOUS AND SELLING OUT!!!!!!! HOW DARE HE START A RECORD LABEL (HEY, DOES ANYONE KNOW IF COBRA’S ANNOUNCED THEIR FALL TOUR DATES YET?) AND CLOTHING LINE (BTW: HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW CLAN HOODIES? OMG, THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!) AND EVERYTHING ELSE!
AND THEIR MUSIC HASN’T EVEN BEEN GOOD SINCE FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE! THEY STOPPED BEING PUNK AND ACTUALLY TRIED TO MATURE THEIR MUSIC RATHER THAN JUST REGURGITATING THE SAME STUFF OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO SATISFY THEIR FANS IN THE SCENE! THEY FORGOT WHO MADE THEM FAMOUS AND THINK JUST BECAUSE THEY OFFER SHOUT OUTS AND FAN CLUBS AND TALK NON-STOP ABOUT HOW THEY’LL NEVER FORGET THE KIDS WHO MADE THEM, THEY TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALSO, I’M GOING TO SOMEHOW BLAME THE MILLIONAIRE$ GETTING SIGNED TO DECAYDANCE, EVEN THOUGH BOTH THEY AND PETE HAVE CLEARLY STATED THAT THEY ARE NOT SIGNED TO THE LABEL, THEY’RE JUST RELEASING THEIR EP THROUGH DECAYDANCE BECAUSE THEY WERE GOING ON WARPED AND NEEDED IT PRESSED! FUCK FACTS.
So, there you go. Pretty much every assinine statement you could make on this situation, all rolled into one post. I’ve typed it, so you don’t have to. So now, if you do, I am going to MOCK THE EVER LIVING FUCK out of you.
Have a nice day.