what should you do when you’ve been awake for hours upon hours and are out of your mind? NEW story added!

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FIRST STORY.

Sam: Tom and Ronnie were sitting in the car waiting for the tow truck to come in the middle of Texas. Ronnie: Tom looked over at Ronnie. “I’m so aggravated with you right now. Why do you always chew on the engine?” Ronnie’s cheeks reddened with anger. “I was hungry, okay?!”Sam: Tom did not seem amused, he was annoyed at the fact she would chew on his car, especially since it was a pink car. He was rather fond of pink.Ronnie: She should have known not to mess with his car in the first place, seeing how the last girl that put out a cigarette on his car got punched down to the ground. He tried to hold back from hitting her, because there were 5 children in the backseat.Sam: Tom had no idea why Ronnie ran a daycare, but he knew that he hated kids so he gave them all smoothies with drugs in them to make them shutup. He threatended to kill Johnny if he didn’t stop singing “Tom and Ronnie sitting in a tree k i s s i n g”Ronnie: After ten hours of waiting on that darn tow truck, it finally arrived. The man stepped out of the rusty truck saying, “Oi chi ne wah, be?” Tom and Ronnie looked at eachother. He was definitely NOT speaking English. Or German.Sam: Tom remembered this man from the news, he was a registered murderer, he paid him $20 to kill Johnny. Tom watched and squeeled with pleasure while Ronnie slept in the trunk.Ronnie: Ronnie woke to the sound of Tom cheering. She poked a hole in the top of the trunk just big enough so that her eye could peek out. “What is going on out here? Did you eat the last pinecone?”Sam: Tom smelled Ronnies drool as she was awaking her nap. He knew she was up, but did not hear the last thing he said. Then he started dancing and singing “We’re all in this together” by High School Musical.Ronnie: Ronnie broke free from the trunk like a wild animal and picked up her cell phone to call the police. “I’m with a man. He’s crazy. Come quick.” Just before she could tell the police where they were, Tom grabbed the phone and screamed. “NO!! Don’t let them GET ME!” his fear of stalkers was taking over his whole 6’1″ being.Sam: As he was screaming that, Ronnie heard a familiar voice calling “Ronnie, time for breakfast!” then it got louder and louder, she woke up and realized it was Erika. It had all been a dream, until she noticed her mouth tasted like engine.Ronnie: She went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, when she saw Sam and Adam Lambert standing there, wearing indian outfits. “We were just about to light the fire, want to join us in our indian chant?” They asked in unison.Sam: Then Erika showed up in the mirror eating a walrus sammich and wearing a giant headress screaming “JOIN THE INDIAN TRIBE!” Then she emerged from the mirror wearing a lavender evening gown and zebra pumps.Ronnie: THE END!

STORY TWO

Ronnie: An utterly confused Sam stared at an utterly bald Stevie Wondereagle. “Why aren’t you wearing the clown suit I made you?” her shoulders dropped in disappointment.Sam: The bald eagle, Stevie just sat there shaking his head, then he finally sighed, “Okay fine, but I’m allergic to trashbags.” She pulled out lotion from her nose and said it would help the swelling go down once he wears it.Ronnie: It had been two weeks since Sam ran off with the Jumping Grease Runners, and she still didn’t know if she liked her new life as a window cleaner or not. She’d left home hoping to find a nice boy to marry, but all she’d found was windex and wet tissues.Sam: She hated cleaning windows but it paid $100 an hour so she couldn’t complain, she just wished that she could have a hot man by her side, and then walked in a new customer named Adam Lambert needing his car windows to be washed.Ronnie: “Hey you fine mammal, are you in need of a good window wash?” she asked the beautiful boy. He scratched his weary forehead. “It would be so wonderful, except, I have no money to pay you with.” he replied, sounding frazzled.Sam: She knew he was the washed up winner of American Idol whom she was in love with since the age of thirteen, so she had no idea where all his money was, she politely answered “I will do it for free, as long as you will go on a date with me.” He smiled and screamed “OMG YEEES! I NEED A DATE LEETLE DARLIN!”Ronnie: Sam smiled and put on a cowboy hat. “Let’s go square dancing! I have the most beautiful jean skirt with red quilt material at the bottom of it. It would make any man want to fall dead in his tracks.” she could tell that Adam was getting anxious to dance. “Let’s just go out there in the lake of Antibility and dance right now!” he said with a sneaky grin on his face.Sam: He giggled then chuckled out the door, “I lurve dancin!” HE called then he began singing Michael Jackson. Then he proceeded to leave, but soon came running back yelling, “Oh yeah and you never have a chance with me, I prefer boys!!”

go skip over to missam‘s page for our FEET story.