Saving The Humans – Dolphins To The Rescue

Pirates. If you haven’t heard that actual pirates still exist in 2009 and attacked a U.S. flagged cargo ship off the coast of Somalia, please come join the rest of us and crawl out from under your rock. What happened to the days when pirates just used to be cool things to put on shirts and gave us awesome things to do on International Talk Like A Pirate Day?

After hearing about the first pirate attack, I was a confused. Apparently, pirates from Somalia have been hijacking ships for some time. Since the first pirate attack a little over a week ago, the pirates have hijacked some more ships and vowed vengeance in the name of their fallen commrades that were killed by U.S. forces last week in a hostage rescue. You can read the whole story here.

President Obamas of the mighty United States has vowed to halt all pirate activities. He didn’t say “how” or clue anyone in on the specifics but I am pretty sure it involves something super amazing: dolphins. That’s right. It seems that dolphins have decided to forgive teh humanz and that whole “let’s use dolphins as the secret ingredient in tuna” incident and lent a helping hand in the war against piracy.

I first read about this story on Gawker, which picked up this delicious morsel of animaltasticness via China View. Check out the post by clicking this neat little blue thing here. If you are too lazy to click, the basics of the story are that some Chinese ships were all like, minding their own business in the ocean:

Photos – courtesy of MegaNews Ultra Conglomerate

Then, a pirate ship appeared and was ready to attack:

If you thought that was weird, what happened next is going to make your head asplode. It seems that a large pod of dolphins wanted in on the shenanigans and intercepted the line of attack for the pirate ship. It seems that (and this is paraphrasing from the article) the pirate ship “could only lament their littleness before the vast number of dolphins.” This means that they turned tail and left. Check this out:

Dolphin party! Actually, we just received a photo of the dolphins in training:

Dolphins are the heros of the day. Speaking of animals that lend a helping hand to the human race, check out this polar bear weeding out the weak and keeping the gene pool strong:

I think this woman skipped the zoo fieldtrip in her youth and didn’t hear about how polar bears eat people. The polar bear could undoubtedly smell the weak and was going to do humanity a favor by stopping this one from procreating. Fear not, for she was rescued by those floatie life saver foam things. Even polar bear cubs know not to mess with the adults during feeding time and had this to offer from the sidelines:

It’s not every day that dolphins save Chinese freighter ships off the coast of Somalia. It’s not every day that someone jumps into a moat that surrounds the lair of the largest meat eating animal on land. Maybe one day we humans will return the favor by not killing everything off and we can all have a dance party where no one gets caught in a net or eats anyone:

Hope to see you there!