Twilight Episode One: The Phantom Chemistry

So,’s 10 days of Twilight is counting down to the release of the movie next Friday. And today, in an article about Twilight star Kristen Stewart, the Twilight franchise was called “The Star Wars of our Generation.”

Bella: “Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder!”

Now, many of you may think that I’m writing this blog to get indigent and outraged. But since this particular suggestion is so utterly ridiculous, I’m already moving on to LULZ.

See, there are some fantastic quotes from Star Wars. What happens when we give some of those quotes a little bit of Twilight-flavored “Dazzle” instead?

  • “The Dazzle is an energy field created by all living things, it surrounds us, it penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together”
  • “Forks High School, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.”
  • “The Silver Volvo is the car that made castle run in less than twelve parsecs.”
  • f”Remember, a Vampire can feel the Dazzle flowing through him.”
  • “Use the Dazzle, Edward.”
  • This werewolf is my kind of scum… fearless and inventive.”
  • “Strong am I with the Dazzle, but not that strong. Twilight is upon me and soon, night must fall. That is the way of things. The way of the Dazzle.”
  • “The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Dazzle.”
  • “The Dazzle is strong with this one.”
  • “I find your lack of Dazzle disturbing.”
  • “The Dazzle will be with you, always.”

However, if this whole thing leads up to a scene with Kristen Stewart in the Leia bikini, all will be forgiven.

…or even better: RPatz in the Leia bikini.