Boobs + Superpowers = Hollywood’s Confused
So apparently, Hollywood has no idea how to handle taking Wonder Woman from the pages of her comics to the big screen.
Who’s got two thumbs and isn’t surprised? THIS GIRL!
In an article published today, “Kingdom Come” writer Mark Waid and Charmingly Befuddled Dark Prince of All Media Neil Gaiman both discussed the possibility of a darker Wonder Woman, playing up her roots in…um…bondage?
Okay, if you didn’t already get it, people? She’s got a MAGIC LASSO that she can TIE PEOPLE UP WITH and MAKE THEM DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS. Golden Age Wonder Woman’s biggest weakness was BEING SHACKLED BY A MAN. It’s a bondage metaphor.
But here’s the rub and I’ll come right out and say it: 99.2% of Hollywood would have no idea how to handle that concept without resorting to making Wonder Woman a nymphomaniac who occasionally fights crime.
Hey, I get the desire to make Wonder Woman darker. Batman Begins, The Dark Knight and (hopefully) the upcoming Watchmen movie are proving that you can go with the darker versions of comic book characters and do it well. And hell yeah there’s money in it. So I know this going to fall on deaf ears, but here it goes:
Hollywood, if you can’t make Wonder Woman right? DON’T FUCKING MAKE THE MOVIE.
You might not understand what Wonder Woman is to comics fans…especially a number of female comics fans. Historically, the comic industry has hosed female characters, turning them into sidekicks or weaker versions of their male counterparts. It’s rare that a female character gets to be strong of her own accord. But Wonder Woman is WONDER WOMAN. For many of us, she’s what we look to when we we want proof that the comic industry doesn’t have some irrational hatred or fear of women.
And in an age of Frank “WhoresWhoresWhores” Miller, Mark Millar’s oh-so-sensitive reboot of “The Avengers” (why yes, there’s a perfectly logical explanation for why the only female team member spends every major fight depowered and naked. I just haven’t thought of it yet) and where people even find massive fault with Gerard Way‘s The Umbrella Academy (due to the current fate of the two female characters…I don’t want to spoil it for you if you haven’t read it yet…and I won’t say I totally agree with the argument people make…) it’s become clear that things haven’t changed. Historically we’ve gotten screwed in comics. Please don’t do the same with the comics-to-film industry.
I know that’s a bit much to ask as well. Catwoman sucked, rumors are that we won’t see a single female team member in the upcoming Avengers movie and Frank Miller just keeps getting movie deals. And I don’t know if it’s because it’s tradition to treat female characters a certain way, or if it’s just because our current social climate STILL doesn’t want to deal with women being as strong or *gasp* stronger than men, even in fiction, but it’s to the point where I don’t care.
If you want to do a dark Wonder Woman? Fine. Get Joss Whedon back. I’d trust him. Or call up Neil Gaiman. Hell, I’d probably even trust Gerard Way to pen a decent script where the point isn’t Wonder Woman has erotic adventures and a man saves her in the end.
But if you’re not going to put your heart into this project? If you’re not going to honor the Amazon, Athena’s champion as she deserves? Burn the scripts, screw the deals. I don’t want any part of it.