We Believe that God has Lust for EVERYTHING

(Please note: Continuing to read this article after this disclaimer acknowledges that you have a sense of humor about faith and religion and will not get offended at some jabs that could be taken as sacrilegious. If comments indicating otherwise are posted, they can and probably will be deleted. It’s all in good fun, folks.)

So, apparently you can found a religion based on anything. And not just popular things like Zombie Jewish Carpenters or meditating reincarnated princes or a bet that you could start a church to make a profit. There is a Church of Elvis. There’s The Order of the Beak. And of course, Peter Griffin founded the Church of the Fonz.

And now people are apparently trying to start a religion based on THOSE books. I dare not speak their names. But if you read my blog enough, you KNOW which ones I’m talking about.

You know what this calls for? The OFFICIAL founding of The Church of Hot Addiction. Because if you can try to found a religion based on bad supernatural romance novels? I’m sure as HELL able to found one based on Gabe Saporta’s peyote-induced hallucinations.

Obviously the church already has hymns-a-plenty, but what about an official prayer?


Hail Cobra, who art in a Starship Wiggly be thy form. The Apocalypse comes, the party be thrown In Uruguay as it is in Jersey. Give us this day our ironic crotch grabbing, Forgive us our serious business as we forgive those who are cold in the basement. Lead us not into emo but deliver us from hipsters. For thine is the guilty pleasure, here to make us dance tonight We shall get down until the sun doth come up. No se!