First Comes Love…Then Comes Marriage…

I see it happen anytime a celebrity couple announces they’re getting married. Or that they have gotten married.

The general first reactions are “OMG CONGRATULATIONS!” Or raging jealousy.

And of course, the inevitable: “OMG THEY’RE GONNA MAKE SUCH PRETTY BABIES!”

Let’s talk about where babies come from, shall we? Babies come from sex. Which does not necessarily only happen after marriage.

I guess what I’m throwing out here is? Marriage does not imply babies. And the attitude that it does bothers me on a lot of levels.

It’s different when it’s a couple who have indicated they want children. I’m attending two weddings for people my own age this year. One couple plans to get married and have babies. The other plans to get married and NOT have babies. And I’m sure there are people out there who want kids but might not necessarily want to get married. And if you can support your child or children without a wedding ring on your finger? More power to you. That’s your choice.

But when it’s a couple who haven’t indicated that their plans include children? Especially when the woman in the couple has a blossoming career? It kinda irks me that people expect she’d drop it immediately after saying “I do,” so she could have a kid. And yeah, I’m pretty much directly referencing Gerard and Lyn-Z Way.

Do I think they’d have gorgeous children if they choose to? FUCK YES. They’re both really really really ridiculously good looking people. But at the same time, consider that MSI and MCR are both touring bands. They’re RARELY off the road. I think since getting married, Gee and Lyn-Z have had MAYBE a cumulative month and a half to two months together in their home. And if Lyn and Gee were to have gone OMG, MARRIED! BABIES NOW!? He can keep touring if he wants. She puts everything on hold. And if she chooses to? Great.

But the assumption that she’d choose too just because there’s a wedding ring on her finger now? Not cool. Or that he’d choose to have kids just because he’s got a wife now? Also not cool.

I guess my other problem with the whole marriage —> babies deals with the debate over marriage for same sex couples. If we as a society immediately associate marriage with babies? Then that sort of implies that homosexual couples have no real reason to get married. They’re not having babies together, right? I mean, yes, they can with a surrogate or if they choose to adopt. But really, if we assume that the purpose of a husband and wife is to have a child, then where does that leave a husband and a husband or a wife and a wife?

And does that mean we should look down on homosexual couples who choose to use a surrogate or to adopt because legally they might not be able to get married in a state? They’re having a child “out of wedlock” as it were. But at the same time, they’re going to be loving parents…whether they’re married or not.

I’m child-free. I have no plans in my future that involve having children. That’s my choice. But I would like to get married some day. Just, you know, for the hell of it. And what I don’t want is people on my wedding day coming up to me and saying “Congrats! Your children will be gorgeous!”

My children will be gorgeous. If you consider completely imaginary, made up things in the heads of my mother’s side of the family gorgeous.

Which I’m sure they all do.

Please note: this is totally my opinion and as I’ve said, I respect people who choose to have children as much as I ask them to respect my choice to remain child-free. There’s no right or wrong choice here, folks. Just yours.