Valentine’s Day Makes Some of Us Desperate
If you hadn’t noticed, I’m minus a Valentine this year. Well, short of all my lovely friends on Buzznet, and trust me you count in my book. But not in my little pink book. Sorry.
I’m not really desperate for love at this point. Like, I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want a long term committed relationship, I just want to hang out with someone and maybe knock boots with them now and again.
I, however, am not like most people. Or many people. I may even be a bit strange. It’s been suggested, believe it or not. But I digress. I’m good at that. My point is, there are some people who, at this time of year, will look to many places for someone to spend February 14th with.
And I figured I’d see what they were up to.
That’s right. I’m braving the personals section of my local Craig’s List.
My rules: Look through the personals on Craig’s List.Repost the best here.No links, no photographs.
If anyone sees their ad here, listen, you posted it. I have the right to mock you should I feel the need.
To start off, let me give you a bit about me:
25 year old female, currently single, not looking for anything long term. Turn offs include ignorance, misogyny, disregard for the SHIFT key, general stupidity. Turn ons…aren’t really relevant here.
That will hopefully explain what I’m looking for in a personal ad, if it is a bit lacking in what I’m looking for in a partner.
i’ll be your baby valentine night – 31
i have nothing better to do. i’m a handsome available man, can turn on a woman in no time. i only ask that you be thin. you don’t have to have a pretty face. your body comes before your face in my book. i’d also like it if you paid for your half of dinner and the movie. let me know if you’re interested in having a romantic valentine’s day.
Now THERE’S the way to my heart. “i have nothing better to do?” Okay, at least he’s honest about wanting to go dutch, I’ve got no issue with a guy being honest with a woman about that. But maybe you shouldn’t have to pay for dinner, since he’s only looking for thin girls. And I kinda love how there’s no qualification of what “thin” is. But I digress.
Hello Ladies – 42
Hi Im 42 and new in town, Im the perfect latin lover, if you need the most erotic massage of your life…well I can help…this is not a sex ad…service is my pleasure…I can guide u through the difficult times and enjoy your self a lot more…so if u need someone to make u feel like a lady drop me a line.
VALENTINES DAY * * * * * * – 28
Attractive, white, male seeking fun dinner date for Valentines day! Send a picture to be considered!So…all you say is you’re attractive and white…but I have to send you a picture to be “considered?” What the hell, is this a job interview? Modeling gig?
submission as an art form
Single, successful professional white male, handsome witty, smart, well traveled, who likes art, theater and finer things in life, don’t see distance as a barrier looking for attractive, confident, submissive, playful, imaginative woman who is ready to discover true meaning of submission and domination. Don’t be afraid to look inside your soul and answer long awaited questions. Is this is something that you’ve always wanted, but were afraid of? Something build on trust and understanding . You will feel safe, secure and understood in the long term relationship with me…… I would love to hear from you….. email me, include your picture, this may be a new beginning we both been looking for..
My biggest issues with this:-no age included. For all we know this man is in his mid-50’s.-promising I’ll feel “safe, secure and understood” with you. Dude, you’re posting a personal on the internet. WITHOUT YOUR AGE OR A PICTURE INCLUDED. That SCREAMS “sketchy motherfucker!”-“Don’t be afraid to look inside your soul and answer long awaited questions.” Who is this guy?Oh, wait, I’m breaking my no picture rule. I think I have an idea:
Well, I know who I’M spending Valentine’s Day with! May the Force be in me!