Rip off artists!

So by now, you’ve probably heard about the scandal involving Gerard Way, an independent comic publisher, and The Umbrella Academy. This comes on the heels of Marylin Manson’s accusations that MCR ripped off his trademark look and that Frank Iero is “short.”

I gotta be honest, folks. My faith was shaken. And I decided to do my research.

For those of you not in the know, while I majored in English, I also did an intense amount of work in historic folklore and Medieval and Renaissance studies while at the University of Pittsburgh. This means I know about a lot of old things that don’t help me when I’m applying for a real job. But luckily, they are quite helpful when someone accuses a rock band of being derivative.

Sorry, folks. I have to shatter your dreams. My Chem? Has RIPPED OFF some of the greatest artists of the Renaissance.

At first it was hard to pin down. I had to dig through some of my archives and put in a few calls to agents in the Vatican (okay, it’s better for everyone if you just pretend you don’t know about my agents in the Vatican). They dug through the vaults and then made a few more calls…a few to some museums and some private parties who refuse to allow me to name them. What arrived first, was a scan of a sketch on a canvas:

Look familiar? IT SHOULD!!!!

After analyzing the sketch, do you know what my people found? DO YOU? That sketch, right there? It was by LEONARDO DI VINCI!

(obviously, the existence of more modern items, such as the Patient’s wheelchair, the modern instruments and the modern city background were the give aways. After all, Di Vinci was always ahead of his time.)

So, as you can CLEARLY see, the Black Parade concept was taken from an unknow Di Vinci work. Honestly, Gerard, you ought to be ASHAMED of yourself!

But more than that, oh yes! There is more! More than that, I decided to settle down with my specialty: Shakespearian Theatre. Going through the ample sources I have, I managed to obtain a parchment with handwritten scrawls on it. I cannot scan this parchment, unfortunately, because that would possibly put it at risk, but I can transcribe for you here what is written in, what I assure you, is The Bard’s own handwriting:

Romeo, do give me all thy poisonAnd I, in return, shall give thee my pillsAnd my hopeless heart that doth make me ill.…ah-ha! The chorus of “Thank You for the Venom?” Far from a “Gerard Way Original” if such a thing DOES exist! Upon further research, the entirety of “Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge” was taken, piece by piece, from unpublished Shakespearian writings! Most of “You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us in Prison” is from an expunged scene from Hamlet! And even more interesting is the manuscript for the unfinished play The Demolition Lovers, about a pair of bandits who are separated in death, and their attempts to reunite.

Gerard, really? Ripping off SHAKESPEARE?

(Interestingly enough, though, I did discover there is a reference to Gerard and Lyn-Z’s marriage in the writings of Nostradamus. So, I guess you really can’t say NOBODY saw that one coming, huh?)

I am angered to my very CORE, Buzznet! The people we have trusted? Scammers, rip off artists! I hope they are proud of what they have wrought!

COMING NEXT TIME: An indepth analysis of the alchemical meanings of Frank Iero’s tattoos (symbolism and placement!)