Videos I Wish I’d Made

This whole journal was inspired by a comment by rockinponda on this blog from awhile back.

Don’t you sometimes hear a song and think “Wow, I have a great video concept for this?” Or see a video and think “I could have done that better?”

Anyone? Hello? Bueller? Bueller?

Okay, so maybe I’m just a freak. But sometimes I’ll get video concepts and wish there was some way I could force my artistic views on the world. Violently, if need be.

These are some of those concepts that will never really be:

House Of Wolves by My Chemical Romance (from “The Black Parade”)

Like I mentioned in my tap dancing blog, I love the sort of big-band swing feel of this song. What I would love to see done would be a sort of Swing Era gothic retelling of “Little Red Riding Hood.”

Set in and around a classic looking mansion, the video opens with a girl in a red coat getting out of a classic car and smiling at the driver, then heading towards the front door. Suddenly, there’s a howl and the music cues up. The girl takes off running wildly, obviously being pursued by something not human.

The chase is inter-cut with scenes of the band, in period costuming, performing for what at first looks to be an empty ballroom…but is later filled with spectral dancers. Also required: close ups of Ray Toro’s hands as he plays the solo in that song. Why? Because…it’s Ray Toro’s hands during a fucking sweet solo. Duh.

Why it won’t happen: I doubt that House of Wolves will be released as the final single from TPB (at one point it was announced that “Mama” and another song were planning to be released as singles…not sure if that’s still true). Also, the budget for the video would be outlandish…especially for the quality CGI. Plus, I’m willing to bet Gerard Way would come up with something better.

Sleep by My Chemical Romance (from “The Black Parade”)

One of my ultimate fangirl-gasms: My Chemical Romance teams up with Neil Gaiman to do a “Sandman” themed video.

Why? Because Gerard Way is Dream.

(As a side note: I still want to know which clan Gerard Way liked playing best in Vampire: The Masquerade.)

Why it won’t happen: Neil Gaiman getting in on something like this would be too good to be true. Gerard Way would faint upon being told he was working with him. I want it badly, therefor it can’t ever happen. EVER.

Bang the Doldrums by Fall Out Boy (From “Infinity On High”)

PIRATES!

No, really. Pirates. After all, Pete Wentz said the following in a Q and A on falloutboyrock.com:

we kind of wanted to put it in the pirates 3. all we could think about was pirates hwne we were writing it. unfortunately “happily ever after below the waist” doesnt vibe well with the whole kids movie thing.

Pete Wentz: still too cool for the shift key.

But I wanted to see a pirate video happen. Why? Because not only would it fit the song perfectly, but let’s face it, Pete Wentz and Jack Sparrow BOTH rock the guyliner:

But Patrick gets the hat. Obviously:

Why it won’t happen: I doubt Fall Out Boy has plans to release another single from Infinity On High. The Pirates thing is kind of over since the last movie came out last summer. Another expensive video since they’d need boats, and product placement on pirate ships is HARD, let me tell you.

This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race by Fall Out Boy (from “Infinity On High”)

I know they already did a video for this song, but honestly I would have loved to have seen them play up the “Arms Race” bit a little more. My idea for this featured the guys literally as arms dealers, with cameos by other Decaydance/Fueled by Ramen bands as their clients. The entire thing ends in a double cross massacre with someone else walking off with all the money…either Panic at the Disco or Gym Class Heroes preferably.

Also for some reason I decided the video should feature Andy Hurley on a motorcycle. I have issues.

Why it won’t happen: They already did a video for this song.

The City is at War by Cobra Starship (from “Viva La Cobra”)

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE the video for this song. THEY HAVE A PIE MAFIA! I love it! The only thing that disturbs me is that Pete Wentz in that video looks shockingly like a younger version of my father, back when he was a cop, and that’s a HUGE amount of DO NOT WANT right there.

But, with Cobra’s love of 80’s pop culture and generally crazy shit, I wanted a video based on The Warriors.

Okay, part of this is because I wanted the following:

-The Cobra guys mostly shirtless (I’m objectifying them and it feels soooooooo good!)-Pete Wentz dressed as a Baseball Fury-A soundbite of somebody tauntingly going “Cobraaaa Staaaaaarship…come out and plaaaaaaaa-aaay!”

Why it won’t happen: They already did a fucking AMAZING video for this song. WITH A PIE MAFIA! Man, even cult classic films can’t touch that. PIE. MAFIA.

Ever had a video you wanted to make? Wish you could have made? Lemme know in the comments. You win nothing in return…but I’d be interested in hearing!