Teen Witches: Not Always a Good Idea

So, in case you don’t know, major comic companies like Marvel and DC…wait, those are the major ones…um…anyway, they’ve been trying to recapture the American Teen Girl Fanbase from the clutches of Manga. So many manga titles concentrate on O.C.-like high school drama or magical girl adventures that they will draw more female readers than even Gambit.

Mmmmm…Remmy…

I’m sorry, where was I?

Oh, right.

So, DC/Vertigo started an imprint called MINX to release titles in the vein of manga, but with American storylines and artwork. I’ve read at least one of the titles called “The P.L.A.I.N. Janes” mostly because Pittsburgh artist Jim Rugg did the artwork (I loved his work on Street Angel and was really happy to see at least a few small hometown nods thrown into Janes…mostly Sporty Jane being seen in a #7 Ben Roethlisberger jersey). It’s a good focus, great idea.

So, Marvel decided to do something similar.

Oh, MARVEL.

Our love/hate relationship continues. You give me X-men. You give me Joss Whedon blatantly fan-boying Kitty Pryde while working on Astonish X-Men. But then you give me things like Spellbinders.

Meet your magical girl! And…some other people. I think they were important, maybe?

Wow, good plan. Teen witches! A lot of people are into teenaged witches these days!

KIDDING! KIDDING! HE’S NOT REALLY A WITCH! IT’S A JOKE.

I read this in the past few days and…okay, I confess. I didn’t actually READ the whole thing. Because I got through parts 1 and 2 and felt my brain dribbling out of my ears. Look, the main character was actually pretty awesome, but the rest of the characters? They faded so far into the background I couldn’t tell them apart. They all have unique powers…I couldn’t tell you what those powers are…but they DO have them. The only one that really sticks out to me (other than the main character’s SUPER SPESHUL POWERS, of course) is the minor character who can turn things into salamanders.

I can’t tell if that’s the best or worst power ever.

But yeah, while I liked a lot of things about the main character and the concept (Kim, the protagonist, is often pictured as weilding a chainsaw as part of her sculpting hobby…and when a character is revealed to be a necromancer they are not regarded as negative…and it’s not a stereotypical dark/gothy character, either), but the execution was crap. No, no, it was CRAPTACULAR. Possibly even CRAPTASTIC.

The artwork was mediocre. The storyline was boring, confusing, and just flat out bad writing. I’m not saying this was as bad as the Wolverine-themed manga SNIKT!…but it might be damned close.

Join me later as I attempt to read another of Marvel’s plans to take back the 12-16 year old girls: Spiderman Loves Mary Jane.

I pray I survive.