It’s not a cult

NOTE: THIS IS A JOKE. TOTAL JOKE. HA-HA FUNNY JOKE TIME! IF PEOPLE ARE GOING TO START TAKING EVERYTHING I WRITE HERE SERIOUSLY, I’M GONNA START SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT MYSELF AND CERTAIN ROCK STARS!

Look, I’m here to allay your fears. Ryan Ross is not in a cult.

I know, I know, from this picture, it looks like a cult:

Strange kneeling position, matching tattoos, heads bowed, sure it COULD be a cult.

But it’s not. Oh no.

Because if you study the other pictures from what appears to be that same evening? You’ll discover Ryan Ross is not in a Tattooed Cult, he’s in a Tattooed Coven.

As you can see here, he’s wrapped himself in ivy to symbolize Earth and lit candles to symbolize the power of fire. Obviously this indicates a magical rite, NOT a cult initiation. It is most likely a form of High Ceremonial Magic. Possibly a call for inspiration? No, traditionally that is associated with air. Perhaps Ryan is invoking the power to smite his enemies…or the enemies of those he loves?
Here we see pictures of Ryan’s journal…or his Book of Shadows, to be precise. Arranged on an altar with a string of pearls, obvioulsy to represent the ocean/water, the book holds all the secrets of Ryan’s newly formed coven. As you can see, the tattoo logo is drawn inside of it, meaning that it has some kind of powerful mystical significance and was likely shown to Ryan in a dream by one of the multitude of gods or goddesses he worships.

So remember, kids. It’s not a cult. It’s a COVEN. Have you never seen “The Craft?”

*please be aware I mean no insult to actual Wiccans/Neo-Pagans/Witches with this entry. I post this disclaimer because I’m sure someone’s going to get offended.