Striking a blow for no one in particular (I get my Seuss on)

HOW THE GRINCH PISSED OFF THE NEWAGEAMAZON:

Now the Emos down in Emoville liked guyliner a lotBut the Grinch who lived in Mount Lebanon DID NOT!The Grinch hated guyliner, and a bassist named Petehe was the the grinchiest Grinch you ever did meet!Some say that his column just wasn’t fairto suggest that only women should really careabout their looks and their smiles and of course their weightbecause only WOMEN should care about attracting a mate.He blamed all their brain chemistry for the fate they were resignedeven though he seems like the type to argue we were intelligently designed.One of his points, or so it seems,is that only MEN should be insulted by their magazines.Women should work to be as thin and “hot” as they canbut for men it doesn’t matter…so long as you’re a REAL man!Men shouldn’t have to worry about weight and appearance attacksjust look at that movie that starred Gwyneth and Jack Black!So the Grinch wrote a column full of logical holesinsisting that science supported our gender roles.The point of his argument I STILL haven’t seenis how it hurts him when other men wear Maybelline.If Wentz likes his make-up I guess I failto see how it makes the GRINCH less of a male?Maybe he’s jealous that other men can betrue to themselves, that they can be free!While he sits in his corner and sadly criesthat his DNA won’t let him be like those guys.But I’m sorry Grinch, but I have to say it’s trueI’d sooner do someone in guyliner than EVER fuck you.So when we each wake up early on Christmas Dayyou can hope for something manly…

…I still want Gerard Way.