Frosty the Snowman vrs. Patrick Stump: The Breakdown

Has a magical hat

Has an entire collection of magical hats

Corncob pipe

Doesn’t smoke, but has been known to perform drunken karaoke

Best friends with a little girl named Karen

Best friends with a little girl named Pete Wentz

Made of snow

Yes, he’s short, and very pale

Adorable belly

Adorable belly

Wishes people a “Happy Birthday” upon waking up

Not exactly a morning person…

Pursued by an evil magician

Pursued by frightening fangirls

Melts, but is magically resurrected by Santa

Melts the hearts of even non-fans with his voice

Waves goodbye, saying “Don’t you cry!I’ll be back again some day!”

If he ever TRIED to pull a stunt like that, Pete would attach himself to Patrick’s ankles and hold on until he promised not to leave.

I rest my case.