Review of “Goodnight Moon” starring Pete Wentz


Still can’t act.

That’s not the film’s biggest problem. In fact, most of Pete’s screen time isn’t even spent talking, it’s spent in an extended sex scene. Which, hey, Pete Wentz? Sex scene? You get NO complaints from me.

Mostly it’s that the film is utterly bland. It’s NOTHING new. Rebellious lovers, psycho girlfriend who was abused as a child who has manipulated her doting boyfriend into helping her achieve revenge, and a big reveal at the end regarding the pair’s captive.

Honestly? Nothing about this film is different, new, or exciting. It’s an episode of CSI that’s been done over and over again. On top of that is the blatant comparison drawn between humans and lions…the female is the hunter who takes care of the pack. Even the scene where the girlfriend is reading the titular book to the captive and revealing that she was sexually abused is cliched…it’s meant to be a scene of innocence lost, but mostly it just lost my interest.

It’s true that there are only so many stories you can tell, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to tell something differently. And nothing this film does is different or new. It’s a good attempt, but ultimately nothing special, nothing shedding new light on the idea of lost youth. I’m not even going to touch on the way it addresses female manipulation, with the girl falsely accusing her boyfriend of rape in order to “take care” of things. I try to remember that the film is seemingly trying to convey the idea that she is what the men in her life made her.

Basically, if you’re a Pete Wentz fan, I suggest watching it at least for the sex scene. The boy isn’t a great actor most of the time, but the foreplay and sex scene are really well done. Meaning that if Pete decides to do more films, I think he should consider a career in porn. It’s not like we haven’t seen his equipment already.

But if you’re just looking for a good short film? This isn’t terrible, but it’s utterly forgettable. I wouldn’t bother to pay for it.

And now, some shots of post-coital Pete to sooth the raging fangirls who are offended by my comments on Petey-pie’s acting ability:

Thanks to your mom* for the screencaps!

*no, really, that’s who I was told to credit them to.