In the lane snow is glistening…

Ah, the first snowfall of the year! No accumulation, but it’s the first morning I’ve woken up and walked to the bus stop while sparkling flakes drifted down around me.

Of course, I forgot what this does to drivers in this city.

I now recreate, in detail, the thoughts I assume go through the head of your average driver when faced with the year’s first snowfall:

Shit! Shit! What’s going on? There’s…frozen water or something falling from the sky! We have never witnessed this phenomenon before! What could it mean? Are we headed into another ice age? Fuck, I bet that’s it! It’s just like in that movie, The Day After Tomorrow. God, that movie sucked. Who was in that? That guy…damn, can’t remember his name. Should have paid better attention, because now we’re going to die.

Then again, if I’m the first one to figure this out, I could totally start my own tribe! We could band together to survive, with me as their fearless leader! And I bet there’d be other tribes too! Like one that believes this is God’s punishment and all they do is try to repent! And cannibals! Lots of cannibals.

Oh, hey, and I bet there’d be a whole tribe of women who find a hidden series of hot springs in the mountains and settle their tribe there. And they learn to be self sufficient and hunt and make their own clothing. Which would mostly be fur bikinis since they live near the warm hot springs.

But they’d be desperate for the touch of a man and…DENNIS QUAID! THAT’S the actor I couldn’t think of! Right.

Fuck, I just crashed my car.

Stupid snow. It’s all your fault.

It’s SNOW, people of Pittsburgh. Get used to it. You’ll be seeing a fair amount of it from now until about June.