How I fall out of love with chain e-mails

So, this was messaged to me earlier today:

how guys fall in love with girls1. They will always smell good even if it’s just shampoo.2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.3. How cute they look when they sleep.4. The ease in which they fit into our arms.5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.6. How cute they are when they eat.7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she’s the most beautiful girl on this earth.11. How cute they are when they argue.12. The way her hand always finds yours.13. The way they smile.14. The way you feel when you see their name on your cell after you just had a big fight.15. The way she says “lets not fight anymore” – even though you know that an hour later….16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.17. The way they kiss you when you say “I love you”.18. Actually…Just the way they kiss you…19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don’t admit it).23. The way they say “I miss you”.24. The way you miss them.25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn’t hurt her anymore…

A friend assured me there was an equally insulting one for guys, which she shared with me:

A few reasons why girls like guys

1. The way they always wear their favorite cologne (which happens to be the one that you bought them for their birthday).2. The way they run their hands through our hair.3. The way that they look at you and you want to die right then and there.4. The way that they casually put their arms around you.5. The way that they kiss away your tears.6. …and the way that they then get mad at how they can’t make your problem go away.7. The way they show off around their friends, even though you both know that you would love them even if they missed a basket or two.8. How their eyes light up at the result of 3 hours of preparing for your date.9. How they always know just what to say to make you blush.10. How they sometimes think that they know just what to say to make you feel better, even if you think that it is the worst thing that they could say.11. The way they hold you close when you are cold.12. How they look at you when your mad at them and all your anger melts away.13. How they always smile when you are together.14. The way that they always let you win any game that you play together.15. …and then when you point that out to them they pretend to not know what you are talking about.16. The way that they smile at you.17. The way that you feel when they call to apologize after you had a big fight.18. The way that they say I love you.19. The way that they’d rather die than say I love you in front of their friends.20. The way that they touch and hold you so gently, like they are afraid that they will break you.21. The way that they kiss you.22. The way that they open their arms to you when you are crying.23. The way that they never admit that you hurt them.24. The way that they try not to cry when they are afraid that they are losing you.25. The way that they think that they are your big protector, even though you think that you are theirs.26. The way that they say I miss you, even though they hate to admit it.27. The way that you miss everything about them when they are gone.28. The way that they remember your special moments, or aniversaries when you think that they forgot.29. The way that they apologize when they do forget.30. The way that they comfort you when you have a bad day.31. The way that you can’t wait to get home and tell them all about your day.32. The way that they write you love letters even if they think that it is uncool.33. How they would rather be with you then their friends sometimes.34. How you want to hug them even though they are all sweaty.

You know what? Both of these lists piss me off. Bullshit over generalization about gender stereotypes. Guess what, when I hit people it hurts and I don’t expect a man to change the world for me, I can change it myself. And I’ve know plenty of guys that were more concerned with anniversary dates than their girlfriends, and who were MORE THAN WILLING to say “I love you” in front of their friends.

So here’s my list:


1. Assuming girls always have to be the weak ones in relationships2. Assuming guys can’t or don’t want to show their emotions3. Assuming girls don’t smell when they sweat, or that they don’t sweat at all4. Assuming guys don’t actually feel comfortable competing with women and have to “let” them win5. Assuming there are DIFFERENT reasons for guys and girls to love each other. How about “people love each other because they have a connection, a similarity, something that draws them towards each other.”6. Being sent lists that make me realize that people still believe in all of those stereotypes and will do whatever they can to perpetuate them.7. Seeing heteronormative lists like this.8. Realizing there’s really nobody who I can nailbat to solve this problem.9. Realizing I’d be told nailbatting someone is unfeminine.10. Realizing people might not realize what a nailbat is. (Nails + bat = nailbat!)11. Realizing I can make a journal post that won’t change anything, but makes me feel a hell of a lot better.

Forward this to nobody. Change your own world, folks. Maybe it’ll change mine a little, too.