A Moment With You and Words

[source: //paramoreband.livejournal.com]

heeyyy.well it’s been since the video update and it’s time that you heard from us.sorry to keep ya waiting.just to let you guys know, we’re sort of in the middle of this whole process.josh is doing some guitar tracks and hopefully i’ll be starting vocals sometime this week.with every day we get more and more excited about it all.alright, so i wanna get a little bit personal for a second… i have nothing to do anyhow, so here goes nothing.sometimes i’m better at hiding behind smiles than other times. you know what that feels like? most of the songs goin on this record were written in the last few months of 2006 after we got back from England. we were sort of on a high. we hadn’t really been home in a while and home was like… another day sheet, another shirt out of the suitcase, another cup of scorching hot tea…another show… just a different type of show. when i got back… i just realized a lot about myself. i spent a lot of time with my thoughts – by myself. it really was amusing, to me, to think of all that we’ve been through and how many great things we’ve had the opportunity to do, the people we’ve met… and then to realize… “i’m home and i’m still the same little ol’ me.” i guess, before it all started, i thought that going off on tour and being semi-successful would make me forget it all. anything that bothered me would just disappear and i’d come home and sleep peacefully in my own bed. well, that’s not really how it happened. everything i left i came back to. some things had changed but it was more like growth than change. i felt the same feelings… a lot of the same pains… none of it had disappeared. it forced me to learn a lot about life and the way i’ve approached it as opposed to other ways i could’ve approached it, if i’d only looked at things from different angles. the guys have gone through a lot of similar things since coming home. we’ve been through a lot together and learned a lot from each other. i think what i have learned most is that… i’ll never be perfect. i’m not talking about just looks or things like that… but in every part of life… i’ll always be flawed. i’m sure a lot of girls feel that way too and i know that dudes do cause i live with a bunch of em. the greatest feeling is knowing that i don’t have to be right. i’ve been ashamed and am still ashamed of things i’ve felt. hate. jealousy. lust. fear. pride. self consciousness. pure anger. pity. just plain hurt. but instead of hiding it all… i feel like i need to talk about it. you might hear a lot of this on the record – more detailed in some songs than others. it’s important to us that fans of ours know that’s how it’s going to be before anybody else. you guys knew us first… so… you’ll know a little more of us first, now 😉 to sum this all up… everyone in this band has been through painful, shameful times… some of which have left scars.but we feel like that’s okaycause they make us who we are.hayley well actually – this is from all of us.we haven’t really done this in a while and it would certainly be understandable if you don’t wanna participate,but…what are you ashamed of?—————————————-————————–hey guys,this is josh… I just wanted to add to hayley’s entry cause I think it’s great. I am ashamed of my fear of death. Not only my death but the death of those who mean most to me. josh

I decided to answer the question Hayley left open?

What am I ashamed of?

We’ve all got flaws. Some we see in the morning getting ready for school, others are pointed out to us daily by the ones around us. Hayley said at the end that our flaws make us who we are. She is absolutely right. But dealing with ridiculers, haters, and people that don’t appreciate my flaws, really takes a toll on me personally. But now that I meditate on the matter, I realize that I’m the one hurting myself. I’ve held in my deep feelings about school, friends, etc., to the extent where it has no place to go but out. You might not consider what I call to be problems, but when you store, even minor feelings in for so long, your mind just can’t take it anymore. So I think it’s safe to say… I’m ashamed of how I’m afraid of expressing my feelings. I’ve learned that when I express myself, I don’t always get positive feedback. Even with some of of my friends in the past, sadly. It’s painful to feel misunderstood. But you know what? Being misunderstood and having many flaws doen not make you an outcast. There are plenty of people that appreciate my flaws. That’s why they are my best friends. My besties for life. They know no one is flawless, and they make the bad the good. Rainy Mondays and happy Fridays, they make their ears available 24/7. They make everything just fine. Overall, I know I’m not perfect, but I can always turn to someone to make it right. Grace is one of those persons.

ps. Jessica, Grace, and Arielle are my besties for LIFE.

-Annette

*tear* lol. So anyways…what are you ashamed of?