Miley Cyrus had a Twitter account. Who cares, right? Probably just Mark McLeod, but that's another story. Turns out that Miley went and got herself a man friend and since he doesn't have a Twitter, hers also got the axe in a sort of cutesy, omg bb solidarity act. Fans (and even her Pappy) recoiled in horror and now one plans commit unspeakable acts.

If you have yet to hear about MileySaveFuzzy.com, then you are probably like me - You know, too busy living life, being awesome, and constantly rocking in a state of badassery to be concerned with the likes of Miley Cyrus. I know of Miley Cyrus because of my niece, who is 7 years old. Taking her home with my sister while Miley talked about "If you text me, I'll delete it.." were some of the longest drives of my entire life. That's ok though, as my niece had crayons and things to keep my mind off of the pain my ears were going through - 

I didn't actually draw that, but let's just say I did.

Apparently, Miley leaving Twitter was like that one Christmas when you didn't get a pony. Fans everywhere flipped their S and there were riots in the Young Miss/Tween departments at JC Penny. I bet mothers everywhere driving to soccer practice had to raise their voices as the backs of their plush leather command seats were being plenty kicked that day.

One fan, however, outshines all these others and gets a speshul gold star by their name. The creator of MileySaveFuzzy has decided to lure Miley back to Twitter by offering up their cat, Fuzzy. What I mean by this is that should Miley not return to Twitter by November 16, the cat will become some "ethnic" dish of this persons homeland. Grab a fork and yur eatin' bib, because braised cat is on Le Menu.

At first, I was all OMG SEW MEAN PLZ DIAF about this. Who raises a cat and then gets all schizo because someone decides not to have a Twitter account? That is some serious "bunny in a boiling pot of water, Fatal Attraction" type of BS.

I would totes understand if Miley was Tweeting the Secrets To Life or some profound, deep thoughts that changed my world view, but she wasn't. She was busy Tweeting about surprise birthday muzzles for her brother and which new ceramic flat iron she was going to get for her father. WHO CARES?

Upon further reading of the "threat," it was revealed that the progenitor of the site was of some strange land where the feasting of the feline can be found and is a cultural norm. While this is very O NOES in other lands, eating a cat where it is perfectly acceptable to do so really looses its taboo flair. Mostly this is like saying you want Mexican food and then go to Taco Bell. Everyone knows what a diarrhea fest that is but no one really cares because whatever, it's just Taco Bell.

We all know that eating animals is dumb. Exploiting animals is in the same boat. Boo F-ing Hoo that Miley isn't tweeting about her life being so hard because she has to dig through a purse full of smiles to get that gum she doesn't really like because the store was out of her favey brand. This person would do well if they actually had a point or were working for something meaningful. I see that America has a stranglehold on the world. I see that America has taught the rest of the world how to throw an A+ temper tantrum because O NOES ITS 1101 AM AND MCDONALDS STOP SERVING HASHY BROWNSIES. :: SIGH ::