This is, potentially, one of the most bizarre interviews ever conducted for Buzznet. If you're at all a reader of Buzznet comments, it's impossible that you haven't experienced the razor-sharp wit of JerryFetus. Hailing from the Queensland, Austrailia, she brings her own brand of humor to her writing and her photography, as well as this interview. If you'd like to know why she's funny, where her vulgarity came from, and what SRS BZNS plans she has for the future, read on!--Mark Oshiro, Community Manager, panasonicyouth

[Editor's Note: If you're at all familiar with how Jerry converses with the world around her, you know that she's got...colorful language. That's an understatement. I'm not a fan of editing much out of these interviews, but she used a few choice words that I couldn't possibly publish to the homepage (and our legion of 14 year-old readers) without facing the wrath of my editor. So, in a fashion I know Jerry will appreciate, I turned her interview into a game of Mad Libs. For every "choice" word she used, I had resident Buzznet admin ElRich choose a new word to fill its place. Enjoy the hilarity and absurdity. -- Mark]

Buzznet: So let's start this off the way this interview should begin: Do you do it for the lulz?

Jerry: I do ya mum for the lulz. THIS IS CLEARLY GOING TO BE A MATURE INTERVIEW.

Buzznet: Absolutely one of the most brilliant and insightful ones yet.

Jerry: “Ya mum” jokes are always applicable. It was pretty much all I said in high school, in between drawing penises in my friends' exercises books during geography. So I was pretty much like a young Jonah Hill in Superbad.

Buzznet: But seriously (sort of?), why does humor make up so much of who you are?

Jerry: I was an only child so I had to entertain myself  MY LIFE. SO HARD. And I was bullied a lot as a kid, so I feel like I had to develop (a rather vulgar) sense of humor to cope and to pwn [Katmandu] with.



Buzznet: Do you think it was an effective method of combating bullying?

Jerry: Not really; I think a punch in the face would be more effective

Buzznet: So how has this sense of humor helped you out in a post-high school world?

Jerry: Hmm…WHY SO DEEP, MARK

Buzznet: I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Jerry: OMG THIS IS SO HARD. I don’t know if my sense of humor has helped so much as it has hindered - it definitely makes for lots of awkward social situations. I do student mentoring at uni and I told a whole bunch of prospective students that they might potentially be [sauntered] and [scapegoated]. Then one of them came up to me at work a week later and was like, “YOU GO TO GRIFFITH AND TOLD ME I'D BE SAUNTERED AND SCAPEGOATED.”

My sense of humor also led to me doing some writing on the side for an Aussie metal website - they send me out to shows and I compare Bring Me The Horizon to Russell Brand's pubes. Life is awesome. I find that since graduation, I’m now the person traumatizing others, opposed to being traumatized myself.

Buzznet: Trust me, I know what you mean. Why is high school so unbelievably harsh to people like us? SO TRAGIC.

Jerry: People always say that the popular and rude [chairs] become [stapler]-infested trailer park [cats] after they graduate, and that by the time of our high school reunion, the geeks will have invented Post-Its and rule the world. But I dont think thatll happen  though judging from the amount of girls in my grade that have had babies since high school, I take comfort in the fact that their [Faygo] will be dragging along behind them at the reunion like the train of a really nasty wedding dress .

Buzznet: So it sounds very clearly that you were more of an outsider in high school. Do you find it odd that on Buzznet, at least in terms of your music taste, you're also sort of an outsider?

Jerry: Sometimes it's frustrating for me to go on Buzznet and see some of Pete Wentz and Gabe Saporta's [quickly] born spawn featured on the site, but I'm not really bothered. I mean I'm not going to sit there and :angryface: at my computer and try to conform to the tastes of a bunch of 14 year olds.

Buzznet: BUT YOU COULD GET LIKE HELLA COMMENTS.

Jerry: HAHAHA I ACTUALLY HAVE PICTURES WITH COBRA STARSHIP FROM WHEN I USED TO LIKE THEM .



Buzznet: Also, you can't hate everything. Without people who enjoy that music, we wouldn't have this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vil-s82_LM0

Jerry: HAHAHA OMG. Should be called "I Kissed an Elven Girl." But seriously, I used to be really defined by the type of music that I listened to; then I decided I didn’t really give a rats arse. I still listen to a lot of metal, go to metal shows, molest metal bands with granny undies, and consider myself somewhat of a metalhead, but I also listen to Nintendocore, Britney Spears, and the Bloodhound Gang. I actually have a ritual where I have to listen to “I’m On A Boat” when I’m on the bus to uni.

Buzznet: It seems you were BORN FOR THE INTERNET. I'd like to know your thoughts on this.

Jerry: I spend so much time on the internet. ITS SO RIDICULOUS. If I’m not on the internet on my laptop, I’m on the internet on my phone. When you go to share something hilarious that happened on the interwebz to a friend in real life, that's how you know you spend too much time online.

I wish I could just work on the internet, like write for blogs or websites and get paid an arseload to do it.



Buzznet: Are you blurring the lines between the internet world and ACTUAL REALITY?

Jerry: That's a tricky question. Sometimes I wish it were more blurred; sometimes I like that they’re 2 completely separate realms for me  - I actually have like an internet persona and a “srs bsns” real life persona 

In regards to the former, sometimes I just wish I had a few more friends who were internet nerds so I could LOL about stupid shit that happened on Buzznet. When Ikkyg, Sophie and I met up in Brisbane this year, we literally spent the WHOLE DAY bitching and gossiping about people on Buzznet. It was like Mean Girls: Social Hermit Edition. And once I was standing in line for a show with a friend of mine, who isn’t as much of an internet dweeb as me, and he mentioned 4chan and this poor girl Chin Chan who has NO CHIN and looks like Marilyn Manson, and I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven.

Buzznet: Oh my god CHIN CHAN. See, we understand this. It's like we get an entire level of understanding about the world that no one else does

Jerry: MY LIFE. COMPLETE. [Also] I think I shock a lot of people when I first befriend them

Buzznet: Why?

Jerry: Because I look all “srs bsns” and really angry in person - I've lost count of the number of times people have said, “OMG YOU GLARED AT ME,” when it was actually just my facial expression - and then they get to know me and I talk about penises and stabbing people.



Buzznet: So what exactly are you studying at school?

Jerry: Bachelor of Business, majoring in Event Management and minor in Marketing

Buzznet: That's kind of surprising. Why that?

Jerry: Though at my uni Bachelor of Business (Event, Tourism, Hotel and Sport Mgmt) is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from a regular Bachelor of Business. Ultimately I want to manage festivals and concerts, and hump the legs of a few unsuspecting musicians along the way. I have zero musical talent, so getting into the industry that way wasn't really a choice.

In a perfect world I'd be studying something more creative, like journalism, creative writing, English and what-not. Or I'd be an academic, sitting there writing Marxist criticisms of texts and pwning people

Buzznet: A true scholar!

Jerry: But I need to be employable, especially in this climate, so Im aiming for an Event Management career and any creative pursuits can be done on the side 

I was SUCH a nerd in high school. I did English Extension Literature, and I actually ENJOYED writing a Marxist criticism of Jane Eyre, Hamlet and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, looking at insanity in the social structure. I sucked ass at math and had little interest in Science beyond blowing shit up and laughing at anatomy sketches of p33n, but I loved anything that involved writing.



Buzznet: Is this why you've got a lot of journals on Buzznet? Does that provide you an outlet for writing?

Jerry: I feel like I've neglected my Buzznet lately, but I love the freedom of expression that it gives me. I used to blog about my experiences at concerts on my personal profile at Myspace, and my friends always enjoyed hearing about how many times I'd [filandered] my pants, but I felt like there was a lot of stuff I couldn’t say because it was just incongruent with the side of me that my friends saw there. (Even though I do write about [burn-a-nating] my pants on Buzznet .)

So when I found Buzznet, I felt like I could just say what was on my mind, because I didn’t have to conform to anybody's expectations, and I didnt have to worry about offending any of my real life friends. Plus, it's always nice to hear feedback from people who aren't obliged to be nice to you 

Buzznet: Exactly. You can be uncensored and so can others.

Jerry: Although I maintain that there should be a dumbass filter on the internet, to weed out those morons that leave terribly misspelled comments calling you ugly, just because they’re butthurt over me paying out their favorite band. Of course, if said filter were in place it would probably ban me too.