Yesterday, I braved the high seas, the blazing sun, and the shrill conversations of Fall Out Boy fangirls with everyone's fave-y, BreeSays. Why, you ask? Because we went to a video shoot! Please enjoy the following tale of my harrowing adventures in open waters!

Bree and I left the magical land of Hollywood at about high noon for this video shoot. I had never been to a video shoot before so I though this would be an awesome introduction into the world of "How Things Get Made." Now, I know why I have never been to one. Anypoop, we mostly sat in the sun for like, EVER. Bree is now a lovely shade of lobster. Here is a picture of the boat:

I totally tweeted a picture of this and later found out that we weren't supposed to take photos of anything. I don't know, production people - maybe you should tell us these things when we first arrive instead of telling us like, 2 hours later.

The video being made was "What A Catch" or whatever that song is called. You probably hate me because yesterday was the first time I had ever heard that song. While we waited around, there were numerous conversations that I was trying to zone out by going to my happy place, throwing pebbles into the ocean, or gazing at starfish that were on the rocks by the water. We must have waited for about 4 hours (or longer - I lost all sense of time) and I hear this is pretty standard at video shoots. Most of the convos going on were about how many FOB shows so and so went to and blah blah blah fangirl stuff. There were about nine guys there and upwards of twenty of the lady types. Fun!

Andy came around and talked to some of the fans, so that was nice. Then, some time later, Pete Wentz rolls up in a blacked out Range Rover:

I think dude was there for about an hour or so and then rode away into the smogy sunset blanket that is LA.

I forget when this happened exactly, but Brandon Urie and Spencer from Panic At Ur MoMs Face showed up. Mostly they looked like this:

They talked to some of the peeps hanging out and stuff. During the video shoot, Brendon was getting all sexy time danced up on by girls that were probably 19 and had NO SHAME to the song "What A Catch." How can you dance sexy time to that song? That song made me want to sit in a basement and cry tiny emo tears of self loathing. How do 19 year olds know how to dance like strippers? I do not understand. It made my head hurt. i was THAT GUY that totally killed the scene because I didn't know the words to the song nor was I excited.

Also, BU BU (Brendon Urie- that is my name for him now) fell off of the boat. I was inside the boat when this happened (because honestly, reading Nautical Law books was more interesting than what was going on outside) but the banshee cry of a million fan girls alerted me to this:

That was about as exciting as it got on this Party Boat. He got a little wet (please insert the appropriate "That's what she said" joke here) but was o.k. Also, he is very animated and what not. He is Patrick Stumps polar opposite.

Speaking of Patrick, he was saving people or something. That's the theme of the video, I think. I am not sure. I wasn't paying attention. I know Bree gets saved or something and she even got to sit in a little boat with girls that kept screaming and wore these crazy bougie, soiree, Evenescense-y black, someone just died dresses.

Once, I saw Patrick at a Target store here in West Hollywood. I recognized him but I wasn't sure why he looked familiar. I later found out it was him because someone told me he was in the store. I remember him holding a few items in his mighty Hobbit-like grip as he weebled about the store in his majestic awkwardness. This all changed on the boat. He was like a mighty captain, a commander at the high helm of the high seas. He was magestic, like a mighty eagle taken to wing: 

I enjoyed my time near him, as he was very composed and quiet. Loud people bother me, for some reason. I understand that some people get excited but please, just calm down. I didn't say anything to him, I mean, was I supposed to? He has enough to deal with, I'm sure. Besides, there were plenty of weird fan girls that talked to him awkwardly whilst I LOL'd inside my mind.

So that was my experience. We just sat around a lot and then hung out on a boat for a little. I wanted to get off the boat because I had to PEE SO BAD, MY PEE HURTED. It was kind of weird trying to be excited about a song I had never heard and that wasn't very exciting. Not that it's bad or anything, it's just that they wanted us to PARTY IT UP to WHAT A CATCH. That is not a party song. I only party to Andrew W.K.