virginiatech Blog and Journals

yes, this does apply to me. its so weird that mcr has come out with a song about school violence and school shootings and it not only applies to me once, but now twice. and with virginia tech happening, its just so all ironic. last weekend a guy killed himself and two people - one a former student at my high school whom my history teacher had - at a mall.

so today i go to school thinking "oh crap i didnt finish my spanish homework" and its block day, so i have forensics, tiger time (we watched tiger tv), history, and spanish. i am excited to learn about WWII in history too. so we watch tiger tv and they mention virginia tech and i am sitting there thinking "they'd better not pretend to care" you can empathize, but dont act like you knew the people personally. anyways, a girl said how safe she felt at our school.

i bet she feels pretty stupid now!

we get to history and we had heard an announcement during second hour - my forensics class - saying there was a threat discovered in the boys bathroom but we would continue with school today and tomorrow. my forensics teacher was saying it was stupid to get worked up about it. he said "they didn't even use proper grammer" apparently the note said "i am going to kill myself and take other peoples with me" on a bathroom stall door. so we all joked about it and said nothing was going to happen.

fourth hour roles around and we're sitting there, talking about Germany taking over Poland and how Hilter is a dirty rotten little liar who is evil and cannot be trusted, when all of a sudden our principal comes over the intercom and says "we are going to have a code red lockdown" and about seven kids who were out in the hall come into our class too. do we stop school? nope! we sit in the class - which, by the way, has our lunch period - for the rest of the school day. we don't know a lot and people are calling their parents. then our principal comes over the intercom again saying there was another note discorvered today. so i pull out my phone and let a few people call their parents before i call my mom. somehow, mr. k doesn't notice i'm on mine and yells at joey - the kid who sits next to me - to get off his phone. i talk to my mom for about twenty minutes as she looks up information, just now getting the lice warning from at least three weeks ago. good job mom! heh anyways, i call katie who is in the class next door to me and talk to her for a few minutes before listening to two seniors and my table discuss how there was a "hit list" discovered. apparently this kid - whoever he may be - had a list of addresses of people. so, we aren't as safe as we were at school, but whatever. anyways...

so after that, we get ANOTHER message that cops are surrounding the school, the fire department is here, the amublance, everything. there are parents running across the street trying to figure out what's going on. its making me glad im inside. it sounds pretty choatic. oh but that is the last thing we hear from outside sources! the kid threatens to do something at noon. well, um, yeah that didn't happen. it was 12:07 and we're anxiously waiting. an hour later...nothing happens. oh okay whatever.

so after that, we start to complain. we are HUNGRY and a bunch of us need to go potty. talk about johnson county snobs! we're in a code red and we're complaining about needing to pee and needing food. in all honesty i did feel safe in my school. so mr. k calls down a teacher to come escort us. yeah, a teacher. not a COP a teacher. she takes us to the bathroom in small groups and a senior warns us not to take a number two. it was funny. comic relief, kids.

this joey kid, while we were being escorted to the bathroom, is taken by an office administator. his sister begins freaking out assuming they're accusing him. her assumptions were correct, but this kid wouldn't do it. as ignorant as he may be, he wouldn't have done that.

so now we're just hungry. one of the girls whom i let borrow my phone said her mom asked if she could bring us sack lunches. another suggests we order pizza while boys make jokes about how the killer would shoot the pizza guy.

so there was this german WWII movie on but these boys started watching 300 in the corner while i got online and talked to a friend as well. i'm on that site i always go on during a code red lockdown, shows how calm we were.

i call my sister and tell her about free comic book day, explaining I NEED the umbrella academy and how the lice spread got started at the movies - but hey let's go see spider-man 3 this weekend while my mom and dad are out of town anyways!

afterwards i turn the computer off and watch apollo 13, 300, and a royals game (they're gunna lose. come on, anyone wo knows baseball knows the KC Royals suck...no offense. hell i'm from kansas and i think so) so they're doing okay, 2 and 2 in the fourth inning. Anyways, I just start reading. I get offline at around 1:30 with an announcement saying we'll get out soon, so I read and finish up homework thinking "we'll get to leave soon" An hour early. We go to school at 8:25 and come home at 2:20 on Thursdays. Does that happen? No.

We get out at normal time, with teachers EVERYWHERE making sure we're okay and i throw my shit in my locker and get the hell out of there - i might add, getting out of there took FOREVER. i listen to give 'em hell kid again. i listened to it on the way to school, how  odd. it's odd to me.

the whole time i was at school, i kept thinking "i gatta get on buzznet!"

the thing is, this is a serious situation and it doesnt really seem like we took it too seriously. we had kids watching an R rated movie in the corner!! people were playing games, listening to their iPods, talking on phones, watching some weird German WWII movie then watching Apollo 13 - you just don't think it's that serious of a situation, right? i know my school took it very seriously, but the whole time i kept thinking about MCR, as well as buzznet. i mean, its just so ironic to me that i have something to relate to in that song. not just high school and cliques, but the phrase "but if you're troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt? we'll make them pay for the things that they did" that took an entirely different meaning for me personally.

and i've mentioned before, the kid killing himself last year. on 4/20 last year there was a threat made to our district. but to have an actual personal threat, it's just so odd. you know? you don't ever expect something remotely like that to happen at your school. you just never expect something like that to happen. and the entire school is so lucky that no one got hurt. in all honesty i think someone did it for attention. i don't think the person would have gone through with it, but at the same time you need to ask yourself - well what if it did? and that's a scary thought. people never expect something bad to happen at my school or my school district 'cause we're so "excellent" but then this happens. i know that there are schools like columbine and virginia tech who have suffered, and even if we didn't take it THAT seriously - well, i guess we just weren't scared - it's a scarty situation nonetheless. but that's the thing, we weren't scared. a girl said she was, but deep down i knew nothing bad was going to happen. my mind was filled with a bunch of "what ifs" but i knew nothing was going to happen, deep down. and my mom and one of my sisters (oddly enough NOT the one who i am not happy with) called me and a couple friends did too (kia and ebonie) and i talked to them and i was perfectly calm.

i don't have a strong conclusion to end this with because nothing bad happened. sure, there were a few threats made, worried parents, and really, really hungry kids. we were lucky in the sense that no one went through with anything. so we don't have a lot to complain about.

but it made me think about a lot of things. it made me ponder. why would someone make a threat? why wouldn't they go through with it? and i guess that's just the way the world works.

so...

the boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick, you're never gunna fit in much kid. but if you're troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt? we'll make them pay for the things that they did...