Twilight Blog and Journals

it doesn't really matter to me if anyone reads this. i just had this crazy longing to type and talk, and couldn't decide where to post it, so here it is on buzznet. 

i've had a lot going on lately and everything is so new to me that i'm still in shock. it's scary but i'm excited at the same time. in about a month i'll be moving away, 6 hrs away to be exact, from LA to Berkeley to go to school. and as much as i can't wait, i'm scared to death because i know it's going to be one wild experience. i'm a total geek, so i think i'll be fine. but being introduced to this new environment, being completely on my own, not knowing anyone, and having to make friends with people who have all known each other for a semester already worries me at times. it's that awkward experience where you're literally the new kid in school, the difference here is that there's no one to hold your hand and guide you around. when you're on a campus with like 33,000 other students, good luck.

it's going to be a huge change but i'm ready for it.

other than academically, life in terms of relationships has become a LOT more interesting. i was never one to be boy crazy in high school. i was always the friend, never the girlfriend. sometimes it was annoying, but i was alright with it, i didn't mind. a certain guy that i've been friends with for years recently decided he wanted to turn our friendship into something more, which i was alright with until he got into some details that i don't want to discuss. he wanted me to change and do things that i wasn't so in to, and when i refused he ignored me for 5 months. now all of a sudden, he's back, trying really hard to convince me to be with him, and i just can't do it. he's incredibly sweet, when he knows that i'm upset, but we have such a tainted history i guess you would say that there's no way i could see myself with him anymore. i learned to live without him when he left and i really am over it. i sound like such a freak, i know, but i needed to say this. my friends don't want to hear it, so why not the internet? ha. we never were, we just came really close. he was the first guy i ever had really strong feelings for. but now i'm over it and he continues to call me at odd hours in the night and during the day. i don't know. it feels weird to have someone trying so hard to be with me because i'm just not used to it.

that does it for my emo-ness for now i guess.

i recently finished reading the twilight series. the books are alright, i love the story, and the movies are good. honestly though, if i hadn't had read the books and only saw the movies i'd laugh throughout the whole thing and probably hate it. it's a bit cheesy if you don't know what's going on. i'm thankful for twilight in the sense that it has got me reading again. i gave up on reading for pleasure a while ago and was so used to hitting the textbooks that i didn't know what it was like to read a 'cute' story for 'fun.' i ordered Dear John by nicholas sparks last week and it arrived today. barnes and noble has some good deals, ha. i hope it's good, i've heard it's pretty sad, but we'll see. i want to read The Last Song too. i'm a sucker for love stories, a bit of a romantic. i love it. 

more randomness...

i visited some friends at UCI yesterday, the campus is more beautiful than i would have ever imagined. i was surprised. not as great as Berkeley, i am totally biased, but still amazing. i really enjoyed it. orange county is a great place, but not somewhere i would ever want to live. it's way too perfect. everything is so clean and all-american, it just doesn't feel real to me at all. and i'm not saying everyone there, but many, don't seem to have a good idea as to what the world is really like. they live in their own fantasy lands. i'm not exactly the most well-rounded person but i have very poor family members and incredibly wealthy ones. my family first lived in some tiny house in a scary part of los angeles, and then moved out to the san fernando valley into a nice place. i travel to bulgaria almost every year, an eastern european country still recovering from the effects of the soviet union, to spend time with my family. life is crazy. 

we really should appreciate everything we have. life truly is short. these are all cliche statements but i sit around a lot just thinking about life and everything is starting to click in my head.

all i want is happiness, in the form of love and success. and i hope i never forget that. i figured, that if you really think about it, all life is about is love. that's it. it all comes down to one of the strongest human emotions. at the end of the day, you can have everything you want in the world, but if there's no love, it will never feel complete. ever. there's no greater feeling than wrapping your arms around someone you love and never wanting to let go. it's fascinating how it happens. such intense connections, it really makes me wonder. 

i'm not sure if there's 'the one' out there for everyone. i have no idea what i believe! i'm still so young. all i know that i believe in would be karma, things happening for a reason, and staying positive. god? fate? aliens? 2012? who knows? i'm one of the most confusing and indecisive people in the world. i have yet to find someone that understands me, hopefully they'll come around sometime soon. ha

this is way long. if anyone read this, cool and thanks. until next time

-m, mel, melo, melrose

In the seventeenth chapter of Eclipse, Bella goes to her graduation party and spends the whole time whining about all the wonderful things her friends and family do for her. Then Jacob crashes the party and forges a truce with her vampire friends in order to protect her. And Bella still whines about this, even though that's what she has wanted the entire time. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read Eclipse.

Full review of the 17th chapter of Eclipse inside...

Chapter 4 - Nathalie

My eyes were blinded and it took time to adjust to the light.

Flash. Smile for us faggot. Flash. Turn this way. Flash. Look into the camera. Flash

I was sick and tired of people telling me what to do. Jayne escorted me to the long line of reporters with even more microphones than the cameras I had just met and was forced to repeat myself for another hour. I breathed a sigh of relief as I was ushered away from the baying mob outside.  

Nathalie looked at me in a funny way, I tried not to look her in the eye but she walked up to me and pulled me back into the dressing room. She shut the door quietly and turned to face me, I leant on the dressing table in front of the mirror, looking at her and my reflection. Was that really Bill Kaulitz in the mirror? I didn't know anymore. I lit up a cigarette and took a puff.

"Bill, Tell me..." The question hung in the air like the smoke between us. She moved closer and took the fag from my hand, stubbing it out in the ashtray with a disproving look.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was whiney and she sounded like my mother. Nathalie went to put her hand on my shoulder reassuringly but I shook her off. Her face was shocked and she pulled her hand away, like I'd burned her. Why was I always hurting people? I hung my head in shame, tears flooding to my eyes and I sunk down to the floor and put my face in my hands. Nathalie joined me and I put my head on her shoulder, she rubbed my hand reassuringly.

"Bill... Tell me whats going on?" her voice was cautious like she didn't know how to approach me. I moved my head off her shoulder and looked down at the floor; it seemed stupid for a grown adult to be like this. I didn't know where to start.

"You don't have to tell me, I just want you to know I'm a phone call away. You need anything - I'm there. I can't let you fade like this, where is the Bill Kaulitz that I met, the baby-faced teen with the palm tree hair, huh?"  I couldn't help but smile at the hair comment. She stood up and held out her hand, I took it and she helped me to my feet. She reapplied my makeup and looked me directly in the eyes.

"Whatever it is, you'll be okay, I promise" her mothering smile warmed my heart for a second and I felt better. I walked out and was greeted by a peppy Jayne, I internally groaned. She ushered me to the front row seats and I sat down, the show flashed by in an instant and the constant camera flashes were blinding me again. Time passed quickly and I gave a few interviews on the way out. The car door slammed and it was silent again. I relaxed in the quiet and closed my eyes, listening to the engine and the spin of the wheels. I didn't realise that I had fallen asleep until we were at a halt and my home was looming in front of me. I got out the car groggily; Bailey gave me a pleasant smile.

"Have a good evening, Mr Kaulitz"

I smiled at him. He got back into the car and drove off, leaving me to my mind, which wasn't the safest option. I looked at the stars above and wondered if they were as lonely as me. Tearing my eyes away, I ran up the stairs and launched my body on the bed, sobs escaping my mouth and tears escaping my eyes.

Im sorry for not updating last night and most probably tonight, Ive just been super busy with school work which is really annoying.

There might be a small chapter up tonight [50/50 chance] but ive just realised that I have a load of art work to do.

I go to an School for the Arts and they get really stressed at you if you dont hand in your artwork on time and ive been skiving off it for about 3-4 months. I'm also 'Gifted and Talented' in the subject to so there's alot of pressure for me to be a good role model for the school and my sketch books are always being given to visitors and such to flick through which is annoing. Im a songwriter too so alot of my writing goes into that and im running out of free time :@

im definately going to get a telling off tommorow so im cramming a load of work in tonight. I have about 3 paragraphs of Chapter 4 done.

My question: Would you like me to post all ive done or wait until tommorow night?

[Sorry for rambling about school btw ]

Lovessssss

Kate x

In the sixteenth chapter of Eclipse, nothing happens. Intrigued? Then its time for Mark to read Eclipse.

Full review of the 16th chapter of Eclipse inside...

My Life Is Twilight. No words can accurately describe this website. What people write here makes me wish that there was some way to pass along "sterility" via computer when users logged onto MLIT. This site is full of LoLz but mostly it makes me have no hope for humanity. If you have never seen MLIT, it's high time you take a peek at the skullduggery contained therein.

Abandone hope, ye that enter here - FML, MLIT

They go together like a horse and carriage... I suppose that means sometimes you're the horse, sometimes you're the carriage?

I have not written much about either love or marriage.  It is a subject that is highly personal and difficult for me to put into my own words.  All I can say about being married is that it makes life easier. It makes life harder.  It knocks you down.  It raises you up.  As much as I love love... I love reading romantic books and watching romantic movies.  I love romance in so many ways...  romance does not always equal love.  Romance is not always in marriage... not all the time.  Romance is something that you create.  It is something that you have to be creative about and work at on so many levels.  Romance and love is different for everyone.  I am so lucky and so blessed to have love and romance in my life!

I watched New Moon twice.  I have seen Twilight many times already.  I have read all the books in the series and I am still enjoying them.  It is romantic.. insanely so.  Love and romance can be completely ridiculous and utterly regrettable and I love that about the series.  We have all loved someone that causes us excrutiating pain, and if you haven't yet, you surely will.  If you can't relate to the series, surely one could appreciate the devotion the writer and movie producers have shown to the expression of painful love. Ignore the sparkly vampires and shirtless wolf-boys...

Love takes time and Love is timeless...

Love and sprinkles...

Queen VII

                                             -Prologue-

My hands losing all sensation from the chains tightly binding my wrist. Bruised, battered and bleeding I'm very certain that I have lost all strength to rise to my feet again. The shouting voices of which confirm my fate are only background noise compared to my racing heartbeat...I will never expeirence the beauty of nature again. The warm embrace of the summer sun, the improvised rainy day best friends parties, the oddly romantic snow fall and the crisp, cool autumn breeze as I walk downtown with my girls sipping apple cider...everything gone. 

Suddenly, the yelling ceased as the huge wooden door behind me swings open with tremendous force.

"Carlisle, so thrilled to have you join us!" Aro smiles with deceit.

"Aro, this is wrong!" His powerful voice rings throughout the laughing.

"This girl should be executed for her knowledge of our kind is too great so she will never speak of our long lived secret, unless you have plans for this  little wretch!" Aro's voice thunders in disgust and hatred.

He kicks my stomach.

"She maybe a half blood but with me I'll make sure she doesn't say a word!"

Aro kneels down in front of me and gently touches my face as I'm slowly hypnotized by his piercing red eyes, "Is this true, deary?" He smiles bitter sweetly.

With every ounce of strength I have left, I nod

"Good girl, Patience!" He stands and walks away with his hands folded behind his back.

"Very well Carlisle, you may have your wish...get her out of my sight." His smile progresses into a sneer.

Carlisle picks me up around my waist and carries me away into the warm intense sunlight.

"It's okay, you're safe now."

In the fifteenth chapter of Eclipse, we learn that Stephenie Meyer isn't satisfied with lecturing us about marriage, controlling relationships, abuse, and race issues. Instead, we get to learn what's it's like to be inside her brain and think about rape. Because in chapter 15 of Eclipse, Jacob forces Bella to kiss him against her will, thereby birthing a new term to add to our greater lexicon: the "rape kiss." Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read Eclipse.

Full review of the 15th chapter of Eclipse inside...

Me and my friends went to see new moon yesterday. I had already heard by a lot of people that it was really bad, but I've seen twilight so I thought I'd give it a try. Bad idea. It was absolutely ridiculous. Before new moon came out, everyone said that the new director is so much better than Catherine Hardwicke, but I'd pick twilight over new moon anyday. I have to say that parts of the movie were actually decent, mostly things they changed from the books. There were alot of jokes, they were flat, but funny anyway. Everytime Edward came on the movie got worse and worse. He delivered the cheesiest lines of all time, even for a teen movie. When he arrives at school right at the beginning of the movie and in slow motion too...I was almost embarassed for Robert Pattinson, because if that was me I would feel absolutely ridiculous. Good for him he never watches his own movies. Then the scene where Bella hits her head underwater and becomes unconscious. I mean how clumsy can one person be. That was only topped by a 'reflection' of Edward slowly floating into the picture from above, that was so cheesy that half of the movie theatre started laughing. The only thing that I really liked, apart from the book changes that I've briefly mentioned, was the volturi. They looked the part, they acted the part and were the most interesting thing in the whole movie. The vampire that interrupts Bella's and Edward's make out session in Volterra was hot(for those of you who've already seen it: the one on the left, the other one looked really creepy). Dakota Fanning was pretty good, too. She looked scary, I think it's because she blinks a total of one time in the whole movie. The movie should have ended after the fight in Volterra, because afterwards the movie got so boring. I didn't like that Edward asked Bella to marry him in the woods and that the movie ended with a close-up of her face looking constipated. What also bothered me, something that already bothered me while reading the book, is that Edward thanks Jacob for taking care of Bella while he was away. If I was a guy and I was in love with a girl that got her heart broken by a dude that left her for no fucking reason and I spent months on trying to make her feel better and just when things got started between us, her ex would show up and say 'thanks I'm taking over now', I would be pissed the fuck off. What was Meyer thinking when she wrote that bullshit?

I'm going to watch eclipse when it comes out just to see if it's worse than new moon.