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It's our job to be on the internet all day, the least we can do is share its treasures with you, right? Yes, your friendly Buzz Guides will sift through news, gossip, memes and whatever else is floating around out there and pluck from the chaos the stuff that hooks us. This week, Breesays is up with her second entry in the series. Bring it.
MUSIC
30 Seconds to Mars “This is War”
If you saw me at a 30 Seconds to Mars show, I would be one of those people who sways and mumbles along with the music, with an …Read More
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My Life Is Twilight. No words can accurately describe this website. What people write here makes me wish that there was some way to pass along "sterility" via computer when users logged onto MLIT. This site is full of LoLz but mostly it makes me have no hope for humanity. If you have never seen MLIT, it's high time you take a peek at the skullduggery contained therein.
Abandone hope, ye that enter here - FML, MLIT
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"The Twilight Saga: New Moon" opens up with an image of a moon on screen suggesting the werewolves will come out and Bella's (Kristen Stewart) life is still dark and incomplete. The film ends with Bella taking an exaggerated breath of air, insinuating she will take a leap of faith with Edward. Everything in between is delivered exactly how Team Edward and Team Jacob fans want the plot to go down. New Moon at last ... |
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Buzznet knows how hard it is to patiently wait for the release of The Twilight Saga: New Moon on November 20th. To ease the agony of anticipation and get you even more excited for the film, we had Sea Wolf join us in the studios to perform a 3 song acoustic set, including the exclusive premiere of their song The Violet Hour from the New Moon soundtrack. Watch and more ... |
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In the third chapter of Eclipse, Meyer spends a great deal of time demeaning every woman who tries to be honest, stand up for herself, and or exhibit any sense of independence. Consequently, this means she makes sure that every male that graces the pages of chapter three is EXTRA MANLY and POWERFUL and full of WELL-MEANING PSYCHOSIS. Also, Mark talks about Fall Out Boy. Seriously. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read Eclipse.
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In the second chapter of Eclipse, we are left dumbfounded by Edward removing the engine of Bella's car in order to prevent her from seeing Jacob. Repeat: Edward removes the engine of Bella's car in order to prevent her from from seeing Jacob. Did you get that? Edward removes the engine of Bella's car in order to prevent her from seeing Jacob. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read Eclipse.
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There's not going to be a break from the insanity this time around, so today I'm going to attempt to make it through Stephenie Meyer's commentary on New Moon from her website. Will I use ALL CAPS? How man glitter text blocks will show up? Which macros will make an appearance? How many times will I call bullshit on Meyer? But, most importantly, is Meyer's commentary on New Moon worse than the book itself? If you're intrigued, then it's time for Mark to read Stephenie Meyer's website.
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In the epilogue of New Moon, Meyer briefly and succinctly creates 15 pages worth of trite, disgusting garbage that are actually worse than the previous 24 chapters. Combined. Not content ruining her father's life, she decides to begin stalking Jacob by phone (REMEMBER HIM???). This prompts Jacob to come to her house with her motorcycle in attempt to be honest with Charlie. This backfires ruthlessly and we are forced to suffer through the most disturbing dialogue ever penned to paper. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to finish New Moon.
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In the twentieth chapter of New Moon, Stephenie Meyer attempts to write a dramatic and suspenseful scene to end her novel. She fails. Miserably. Not only is it nowhere near suspenseful, but you find out there are still 100 pages left of the book, making this the most uninteresting plot turn ever penned. Then Edward quotes Romeo & Juliet and then it's really boring, and then you realize there are still 100 pages left in the book. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read New Moon.
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In the nineteenth chapter of New Moon, Alice and Bella board a plane headed to some strange Italian city with a castle. (We're pretty sure Meyer just Wikipedia'd the name of some obscure city and made it the center piece of her finale.) Then Alice actually agrees to eventually make Bella a vampire. Someday. And then the entire world ceases to exist when we find out that Edward is going to commit suicide by sparkling. NO. SERIOUSLY. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read New Moon.
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In the eighteenth chapter of New Moon, an unbelievable amount of miscommunication, angry misdirection, and colossal misunderstanding leads to physical violence, insanely bad decisions, and one headache of a chapter. Truth be told, it's hard to understand why any author would spend page after page with virtually no plot and then suddenly shift into high gear. (Again!) Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read New Moon.
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In the seventeenth chapter of New Moon, Alice shows up at Bella's house because she had a vision that Bella killed herself. Bella tries to fool Alice, but, in the greatest moments in any of these books, Alice calls her out for being the self-loathing, uncaring sod that she is. Angels weep in heaven. Then Bella overhears her father talk to Alice about what a horrible person she is and suddenly there is world peace. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read New Moon.
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In the sixteenth chapter of New Moon, Bella doesn't die from suicide. Jacob saves her. Surprise! Another strong man saves the weak damsel in distress. Jacob takes her to his house and they fall asleep, which leads Bella to dream about the play Romeo & Juliet and justify the entire book's existence because...we're not sure why. And then VAMPIRES SHOW UP, but it's probably the Cullens, so there's no need to be interested in the story at all. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read New Moon.
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In the fourteenth chapter of New Moon, Stephenie Meyer reaches new literary heights by writing pages and pages of exposition for what appears to be a really bad porn. Or slashfic. Something like that. But seriously, there are half naked boys in a forest wrestling while other half naked boys bet on which one will bleed and then there are half naked boys who make a Bella sandwich in her car and...no, it's really bad. Really really bad. And then we meet Jacob's family and it's weird and full of bizarre displays of homoerotic masculinity, leading to one conclusion: this … Read More |
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You probably know Ok Go for the remarkable coordination they displayed in their viral video for "Here It Goes Again"--yes, they're the treadmill dancing band. It's high time you paid a little more attention to this Chicago quartet, however--you'll be hearing "Shooting The Moon" on the Twilight Saga: New Moon soundtrack and come January 12th, 2010, they're gifting the world with "Of the Blue Colour of the Sky." Eloquent frontman Damian Kulash was kind enough to answer our questions about the new album, the song, and setting the mood for Twilight's tortured couple. Read on...
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"New Moon" promises to offer more than another helping of R. Pattz eye candy - this time, the soundtrack has become a hugely anticipated part of the film.
Who better to talk vampires, romance and movies with then the artists on the "New Moon" Soundtrack? Unlike the "Twilight" soundtrack, all the music on the "New Moon" album is original and exclusive to the film. We pulled St. Vincent (Annie Clark) off of the busy streets of New York to catch up with her and discuss her new song with Bon Iver's Justin Vernon for the track 'Roslyn' on the "New Moon" …Read More |
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In the twelfth chapter of New Moon, we learn the scratching outside Bella's bedroom window is Jacob. Climbing a tree. He apologizes profusely to Bella and says he'd like to tell her why he was acting so weird. Only he can't, so he forces Bella to guess. For real. Then Meyer writes what is essentially a literary flashback monologue and brain cells start melting and then the book just plummets to the absolute bottom of the barrel. All hope is lost. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read New Moon.
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Okay guys, I'll be the first to admit, vampires are awesome. I've been into the whole thing since long before a sparkling poster child for abusive relationships rekindled it by romantically telling his girlfriend how easily he could kill her. I love me some vampires.
But it needs to stop. Because it has officially gone too far. Particularly the marketing. Retract them fangs! |
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In the eleventh chapter of New Moon, Bella spends pages merely calling Jacob over and over again, at one point calling every 30 minutes for an entire evening. She finally gives up stalking him over the phone and drives to his house, confronting Jacob's friend Quil, who magically validates all of Bella's stalking. Then Jacob fights with Bella because no one in this book can communicate and Billy blames the whole ordeal on Bella's genitals. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read New Moon.
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In the tenth chapter of New Moon, Bella spends far too much time openly stalking Jacob because it's clear at this point that she's not a normal human being. This leads her to return to her usual mopey self, so she decides the best thing to do is revisit the meadow from Twilight where Edward revealed his glittery powers to her. There's no Edward, but Laurent shows up, tries to eat her, and a ton of werewolves show up, including Jacob. It is just as dumb as it sounds. Intrigued? Then it's time for Mark to read New Moon.
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