thanksgiving Blog and Journals

long time no post.ja. thought id start out witha funny little thing. i am so ubelieveably proud of myself. some people may think i have no reason to feel that way but you have no idea. i am my own hero right now. i am looking up to myself. i have also been very very postive lately. someone may have tried to trip me, or say something completely rude, but i just turned it into something better. thinking  positive really does work, and it is really not as hard as you think. try it today. it could change your life.

i am on a getaway vacation. it is a secret location, where no one knows where i am. breakfast is incredible, and i will not think about the miff,i will not think about school, i will not think about little people, i will not think about bullshit lies,...etc.

the holidays are so close to being here, and i am way excited! i am not even thinking about thanksgiving. it makes me feel fat ha. i am talking christmas baby! winter is no doubt my favorite season.  a few days ago  in chemistry i had these little mints hot topic gives you if you donate a dollar. i go there for warped tour band tee shirts. but anyways my two friends were messing around with it. everytime one of them would sprinkle some into the others hand he would say, "it sounds like christmas!" then he would eat them and say, "it tastes like christmas!" it almost made my week. it was so adorable. i can not wait to wear my furs and winter atttire, it is so much fun! as you can tell i really have no straight subject for thsis  journal, i was just going thru withdrawel. it is like an addiction.

speaking of addiction. i am addicted to football. not the steelers, nfl, type of football. highschool football. for our school the season is over, but for school's who actually did good this year, they have playoffs. i did not mean to offend any but one person when i said for schools who actually did good this year. i am being honest, never said our football team did not try, they did. it is so much fun and anticipation, especially if your sort of boyfriend plays haha. looking for his number, and seeing him is fun. but the best part is when he notices your there and he waves to you. you feel so special! i sound like such a dork in this post.

things are better on the battlefield. if that makes any sense at all. i feel better, newer (if thats a word), and replenished. looking back, i changed alot in a week. i honestly did. my outlook on life is more realistic, and i am thinking way clearer now. right now i just want to be happy, and live. my  great good football boy haha (can not find the words to explain what we are) were talking about life. it was sort of funny, because we never talk that serious. but he is always so dead honest. and that is what i like about him. he does not lie. yes i wrote it. HE DOES NOT LIE. i have learned that alot of people actually tell the truth, people who lie are just disGUSting leeches. i had to capitilize the GUS because i am afraid some people do not know how to spell the word, they sound it outloud. bad idea. back to what we were talking about. he told me not to think about anyone else but myself. he said it sounds selfish and shallow, but if you worry about ten other people and not yourself, you get screwed over. he said to worry about right now and what im going to do. this very second. not five minutes from now. he explained this: in football he must learn plays and plan out the game. that does not always work out the way we plan, so you have to think quick and do whats best for the team. i became very difficult and asked, " yes but in football dont you have to think of the team? " he laughed and said yes i do, think as your body, your whole person, as the team that your playing for. and it all made sense.

"what you got now, you gotta gotta give it up!"