sunrise Blog and Journals

Here is chapter 20! Things will be going a lot faster and the casting call girls will be in the next chapter!

Hayley

I tried to stay as calm as I possibly could when his eyes met with mine. The last time I wanted to ever see him again was in New York. I was going to start a new life with Josh...and my baby. Alex's baby. Now that he was here, maybe I should tell him. But he didn't deserve our baby. He didn't even deserve Josh's amazing cooking.

"Well hi there Hayley!" Jack chirped.

I snapped out of my trance and managed to give him a real smile. I wasn't mad at him, only at Alex. "Hey Jack-ass." I teased. "What brings you to Franklin?"

"We're on tour with Cute is what we aim for." He said puffing his chest out proudly.

"Wow! really?" I said, not having to fake enthusiasm. "That's so awesome!" Alex was still looking at me with that lost puppy look. "So, what can I get you guys to drink?"

"Gin and tonic." I knew that meant a Pepsi in Jack-language.

"Sprite."

"Water."

I turned to Alex and he didn't answer. "He'll have a water too." Jack answered for him.

"I'll be back." I said hastily before making a bee line for the kitchen. I leaned on a counter to catch my breath.

"What's wrong babe?" Josh asked, setting down his cloth from cleaning up the last meal.

I couldn't keep it together anymore. My eyes started to water. "He's here."

Josh walked over to me and held my face in his hands, stroking my hair. "Who's here?"

"Alex." I stammered.

His jaw clenched. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" he asked, concerned.

I shook my head. "He didn't know I worked here. They're in town because he is in a band and they're playing a show tonight." I explained, taking a deep breath. The scent of sea food filled my nostrils and I felt my stomach churn. I clamped a hand over my mouth and raced for the bathroom.

Josh was right behind me, holding my hair as I threw up. When I finished, he flushed the toilet for me as I brushed my teeth. I thought it was a good idea since I seemed to be getting sick even in the afternoon. "It was the fish." I explained.

"I'll make sure to warn you when you come in." He said with a sympathetic look. "I think you should tell him." he said out of the blue.

"What?" I spat.

"He's here right now, all you have to do is pull him aside and let him know. There must be a reason for him being here." he said softly, stroking my hair.

"I guess you're right." I sighed.

"I am right." He touched my nose with his index finger. I smiled and pushed his hand away. "Now go give those boys their drinks."

I stuck my tongue out at him before filling the glasses and carrying them out to their table. "Are you ready to order?" I asked, putting on another partially fake smile. I wrote down Alex's order without even making eye contact with him. It made me too nervous.

After I managed to serve them their orders and make small talk with Jack and the rest of their friends. Still ignoring Alex. I knew I was being a bitch by doing so, but he didn't even deserve a glance in his direction. I gave them their bill and gave Jack a big hug as they paid and got up from their table.

I breathed a sigh of relief, glad I had made it through. I brushed my hair out of my face and went to the register to put the cash in. "Hayley?" I heard his voice ask.

I clenched my teeth together and reluctantly looked up directly at him. "Alex." I said his name simply, without emotion. Then, I saw the dark circles underneath his eyes. It looked like he hadn't slept in months. Why did I still have sympathy for him?

"Can we talk? Please?" he asked softly, leaving behind his confident persona around his friends. He sounded like he used to when he would be around me. Great. I was softening up to him again.

I nodded and motioned him to follow me to an empty booth. I sat down and he slid over by me, but kept himself at a distance which made me feel a little better. "So talk."

"I'm sorry. For everything. When you found me in that apartment, you got the wrong idea. I wasn't doing drugs. I was selling them. I still have no excuse for being drunk." he started to explain.

I crossed my arms. "Mhm."

"You have to believe me that I didn't want to hurt you in any way. If I could go back and change everything I would. I was so stupid, and I was afraid...."

That got my blood to boil. It was mostly due to the pregnancy hormones. "You were afraid?" I scoffed. "I was scared silly! You should have talked to me instead of turning to alcohol." I hissed.

He looked down in shame as he fiddled with his hoodie. "I know that now. All I can say is that I'm sorry and I hope you forgive me."

"I can accept the apology but I can't forgive you." I breathed, brushing my bangs out of my face.

"I miss you. So much." He said almost in a whisper. I just stared at him, not wanting those feelings for him to resurface. "I want you to come to our show tonight in Nashville." he said, moving his hand to cover mine. I moved my hand away. "I'm sure it would make Jack really happy." He added, hoping to persuade me.

I shook my head. I felt tears starting to come to my eyes again. There was no way out now, I had to tell him. "I can't go to the show." i said almost inaudiably.

He stared at me with a disappointed expression. "Okay." he whispered, defeated.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I can't come because I'm pregnant." I managed to utter past my quivering lips. A tear escaped my eye and slid down my cheek.

I watched as his face changed from pink, to pale, to practically white. "Y-you're--" he sputtered.

"I'm 10 weeks along. The baby is yours, Alex."

 

Here is the next update! The people who i've picked from the casting call will appear in chapter 21 or 22.

Hayley

I clutched my stomach subconsciously as we got into Josh's car, the feeling hadn't really set in yet. Though, I did feel stupid for not noticing the signs before.

"I have the list of all the vitamins Dr.Scott said you needed to take. Do you feel well enough to work later this afternoon?" He asked, starting the car.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's not like I'm crippled or something." I joked. "But what am I going to say to my grandmother? 'Hi I'm your granddaughter you haven't seen in 10 years and I'm pregnant with my ex-boyfriends child' ?" I scoffed.

"No..." he said bluntly.

I turned my head to stare at him. "Then what am I going to say?"

"You'll say that the baby is mine, and that we are living together." he said calmly.

"No Josh, no. I can't let you do that! How will your parents react?" I started to get a little louder. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

"They'll be disappointed in me, but they can't be that upset! they like you a lot, Hayles."

I needed to stand my ground. I wasn't going to ket him claim responsibility for my mistake. I had to do it myself. "Take me to the restaurant." I told him sternly.

"Why?" He asked, but still stopped and made a U-turn.

"I need to work more often to actually make money to support this baby. Besides, your Dad is my employer, he has to know whats going on."

"So you're keeping it?" he said in a hopeful tone.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, i think so. I just don't want to regret it if I choose to give it up for adoption." I said quietly.

"We'll I'm glad." He said with a small smile.

 

 

"You're what?" Mr.Farro said in shock.

Josh held me close to his side. "She's pregnant, Dad. She thought she would need to let you know because you are her employer." he explained for me.

Mr.Farro's blank glance went from josh, to me, then back at Josh. He let out a breath and rubbed his eyes. "Josh, I thought your mom and I taught you better about those things, I-I just don't know what to say other than I'm disappointed." he sighed.

"Uh, Mr.Farro, the baby isn't his." I blurted. Josh didn't deserve this. "I left the father of my child and met your son before I knew I was pregnant." I explained, my cheeks flushed instinctively.

"Well, don't you think you should let him know?" Mr.Farro questioned, it looked like this situation was hard for any of us to follow.

"It wasn't a good relationship. It ended badly." Josh muttered, holding my closer knowing I didn't like to hear or talk about it.

That seemed to calm him down a little. "Oh. I'm sorry then Hayley. Just make sure to let me or Josh know if you have to leave work early if you have issues with the pregnancy."

"Thanks Mr.Farro." I mumbled before I went to go grab an apron. I heard him mutter something to Josh but I couldn't make it out. I didn't care enough about it to raise suspicions.

 

*2 weeks later*

Alex

"Dude, wake up. We're almost here." Jack shook me awake. I opened my eyes and tried to stretch. Being in this cramped van did have its downsides. Then again, I didn't know if there was any upsides to a van full of 10 people with a trailer attached with all our equipment.

"We're where?" I mumbled, still half asleep. My neck hurt from sleeping sitting up.

" We're going to Nashville! First stop on the tour! duh!" Jack hit me upside the head and Zack and the crew laughed.

"You didn't have to hit me asshole!" I laughed, smacking him upside the head.

"Oh shit." I heard our driver exclaim.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as he slowed down.

"The check engine light just turned on. There is a repair shop up ahead, so it looks like we have a complication to our destination." We pulled up to the repair stop and I fought to get out of the van to stretch my legs.

"Where are we?" I asked, looking around to what seemed like a small town.

"Uh let me see." Rian muttered, pulling out his phone. "My gps says we're in Franklin."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Anyone up for walking around town?" I suggested.

"Sure. I'm game." Rian agreed, putting on his coat.

"I'll go, but we better find some grub! maybe some women too." Jack exclaimed as we started walking down the street.

I rolled my eyes as Zack and Rian laughed, not yet sick of Jack's so called charm. There was quite a lot of hair salons and diners around here. Maybe it was because we were in the south.  "Anybody in the mood for italian?" I suggested, pointing to a sign for an italian restaurant.

"sounds good to me!" Jack yelled, racing to the door and swinging it open. I regretted letting him drink all of those red bulls.

"please wait to be seated." Jack read slowly.

"wow! good job Jack! you can read!" Rian patted him on the back. I decided that I liked Rian a little bit more now.

A tall dark haired woman led us to a table and gave us our menus."You're waitress will be here shortly." She told us before she walked back to her podium.

"Man, break me off a piece of that ass!" Jack whispered I elbowed him in the ribs. He laughed and we all looked at the menus. The chicken carbonara looked pretty good.

"Hi, welcome to Farro Italia, what can I get started for you gentleman?" I heard a familar voice ask.

My heart rate started to speed up when Jack nudged me. I looked up and met the all too familiar pair of eyes that mirrored my shocked expression. She still made my heart swell when I saw her. "Well hi there Hayley!" Jack chirped.

 

So I said I was going to update Faithfully today, but that didn't work out. So MOST LIKELY it will be posted friday night.  Lots of things happen in this chapter, so enjoy!

A few days later....

Alex

The two guys that tried out for our band seemed to be perfect. Rian, the drummer, and Zack, the overly-buffed up bass player seemed like pretty cool guys. Today, was going to be the third day of practice, and things ran smoothly...so far.

Jack had rented a rehearsal space and I was sitting on the only couch, strumming a melody that has been stuck in my head.

"Hey Al," Rian said as he walked in with Zack and Jack.

"Hey." I said, setting the guitar down.

"So you'll never believe what Rian just told me." Jack began, with a wide grin spread across his face.

"That your actually not that bad of a guitar player?" I asked with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes. "No. But guess which band got a spot as the opening act for Cute Is What We Aim For?"

"Seriously? We are the opening act?" I yelled excitedly, getting up from the couch.

Rian nodded. "I managed to pull a few strings and we are their opening act for their winter tour."

We all gave each other pats on the back and high fives. I couldn't believe this was finally happening. "So when does the tour start?"

"On the 14th, We meet them in West Virginia and  first official show is in Nashville."

Jack and I exchanged looks as I smiled widely at myself. This was going to be my second chance, to win her back.

Hayley

After the dinner date with Josh, I started to feel sick again. As much as I protested, not wanting to get him sick, he had me curled up in a ball against him and we watched old black and white re-runs of I Love Lucy on the couch. But once it was morning, I felt my stomach churn again and I raced to the bathroom. Its happened every morning for 4 days now. As I flushed the toilet and opened the bathroom door, Josh looked at me with his arms crossed, and a sympathetic expression. "Thats it. I'm taking you to the doctor." He told me, with my coat in hand. I nodded and grabbed my shoes as he helped me out the door.

 

"Well, I just got your results back from all your tests, and everything seems normal. You tested false for the flu as well."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "What about the nausea?" I writhed my hands as Josh rubbed my arm soothingly.

He glanced at his clipboard and looked up at me above his glasses. "It should subside midway through your second trimester." Josh and I exchanged looks before turning to the doctor again. "Congradulations on your pregnancy." he added with a small, awkward smile.

At the moment I swore I choked on air. I closed my eyes. "How far along am I?" I asked, my eyes still closed, staying quiet.

"Just about 8 weeks."

I tried to think back to where I actually had sex. Then I remembered Alex, but that was one time and we used protection...I think. That was just about 2 months ago...8 weeks... I turned to meet Josh's confused expression, tears started to form in my eyes. "Alex..." Was all that I managed to utter.

The doctor took it as a hint to leave the room. "I'll be back in a minute. I'll uh, talk to the nurse about your prenatal care plan, if you choose to keep it." he said as he closed the door.

I put my face into my hands, trying to hide my tears. "I'm so sorry." I sobbed.

"Why?" I heard the shock in his voice.

"You must think I'm such a slut, getting knocked up by her ex boyfriend." I sniffed, crying harder.

He pulled my hands away from my face and turned my face to his. His eyes were like liquid chocolate. "No. I don't think that at all. Everyone makes mistakes. That is what makes us human. I know it must be too soon to say it, and in the worst possible situation, but I'm falling for you hard, Hayley. Just don't let your baby pay for that mistake." He pleaded, holding my face in his hands.

"I can't do this. I'm only 19." I muttered as he wiped the tears off of my cheeks. "Besides, I don't know a thing about good parenting."

"You turned out okay." He joked, lightening the situation. "I'll help you raise this baby." He said with sincerety.

I shook my head. "No, I can't let you Josh. It doesn't feel right to have you do this for me. I don't deserve it. I dont want to have to force you to help me raise it."

  He moved his hands from my face silently to hold my hands in his, never breaking our gaze. "I want to."

 

Here is ch 17finally! I think I'm through most of the writers block...hopefully. haha

Alex

"Alex get the fuck up." Jack growled, opening my curtains.

"What?" I groaned, sheilding the burst of light from my eyes.

"I have two guys wanting to auditon for the band. You at least have to get out of bed and shave." He bent down and sniffed me, htne backing away in disgust. "a shower would be nice too" he said, scrunching his nose.

"I don't want to play music anymore." I muttered into my pillow, trying to avoid him the best I could.

"Bullshit!" Jack scoffed. "Fine, just keep wallowing over Hayley." he hissed, giving up and walking towards my bedroom door. He paused and looked back at me with a shrug."Besides, you don't even deserve her. So why don't you get up and make something of yourself and win her back." he suggested before walking downstairs.

Maybe his advice wasn't bad afterall. I got up slowly from my bed and looked out my window, seeing the sunrise for the first time in weeks. I was going to do whatever it takes to get her back.

Hayley

"Hayley." A voice called. "Haaaayyyyllleeeey." It called again. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head. I knew it was early and Josh wasn't going to get me up too easily.

"Hayley if you don't wake up I swear I'll sing it." I heard him warn. I continued to ignore him and buried my face into the pillow. I heard him laugh quietly. "Alright, I warned you." he said, taking in a deep breath. "Haaaaapy birthday to you, happy birthday, happy birthday dear--"

"Alright I'm up!" I whined, cutting him off and turning over to look at him and gawked at the blueberry muffin with a candle on it. "You said you wouldn't make a big deal out of it." I whined again.

He rolled his eyes. "Just blow out the candle and be happy I didn't make you wear a party hat."

I obeyed and blew it out with one breath."Happy now?" I asked rhetorically.

"Yep." He answered anyways with a smirk. "Here's your breakfast." he said handing me the muffin. "and I'm taking you out tonight, not for your birthday, but on a date."

"fiine." I replied, realizing I wasn't on the couch. We must've fallen asleep watching movies. I was already getting used to the whole waitressing thing. I had made over 40 dollars in tips yesterday. Just as he leaned in to kiss me lightly, I felt my stomach churn and I clamped a hand over my mouth as I scrambled towards the bathroom. I heard Josh follow me and he then heldmy hair and rubbed my back soothingly as I got sick. I flushed the toilet and staggered a little as I got up to brush my teeth.

"Do you want to take the day off? It looks like you have the stomach flu." He said with a sympathetic smile. But as soon as the nausea came, it passed and I was feeling better already.

I shook my head. "No, I think I'm ok now. It must've been the fish I ate last night." I said walking out of the bathroom.

"You sure?" He asked, concerned.

I nodded. "I'm going to go get dressed."

After dealing with customers for 8 straight hours, I finally took a seat on the barstool and let out a breath, feeling very winded and tired. I haven't had energy in days. Josh came over and leaned against the counter. "Ready to get out of here?" he asked with a smirk.

"YES." I said, letting out a breath. He laughed as he took off his apron and we clocked out. "So, where are you taking me?" I asked curiously as we got into his car.

He smiled at me. "It's a surprise."

I held out my hand for Alex to hold as we walked to his car. He laced his fingers with mine. "so where are we going?" I asked curiously, hoping to pester him enough to slip up and tell me what the surprise was.

"It's a surprise" he scolded. "I know what you're up to missy," he narrowed his eyes and touched my nose with his index finger.

I smiled sheepishly. "well I can't help it!" I whined, hiding my face in his chest. "can we go now pleeaaasseeee?" I begged. He chucked and kissed my hair lightly. "Let's get out of here."

20 minutes later, we arrived at a semi-vacant and the sun iwas starting to set. "We have to walk a bit, hope you don't mind." He told me as he opened my door for me and reached for my hand.

I took it gladly."I don't mind." I said, smiling at him. I started to focus more on the ground as we walked, smiling sheepishly and hiding my face when I tried to sneak a glance at his face and his gaze met mine. He laughed lightly and let go of my hand briefly to curl his arm around my waist.

He stopped suddenly. "wait, I forgot something." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bandana. "I said it was supposed to be a surprise, right?" he smirked. I scowled.

"Why do I have to wear a blindfold? I can close my eyes and not peak...much." I admitted under my breath. He laughed and walked behind me and placed the bandana over my eyes. "Not too tight" I reminded him. I felt him curls his arm around my waist again as he guided me to wherever the hell we were going. After a few minutes, I started to hear a lot more commotion than usual on the New York City Streets. It grew louder as we got closer until i could hear the faint sound of guitars and drum beats. He was taking me to a concert! I grinned wildly, still not able to see my surroundings. "Can I look now?!" I asked eagerly.

He squeezed my hand. "Go ahead." I could hear the smile in his voice. I pulled the bandana off of my eyes and waited a minute for my eyes to adjust. I was right, we were right in front of a concert hall. I looked up at the sign to see who was playing and my mouth fell open slightly.

"We're seeing Jimmy Eat World?!" I squealed excitedly. He only gave me another one of his crazy grins. I stretched onto my toes and threw my arms around his neck and kissed him happily.

I snapped out of my memory when Josh said my name, turning his keys out of the ignition. "You've been quiet." He teased, walking around the car to open the door for me. We were in front of a tall building and like a gentleman, Josh held out his arm to escort me inside what looked like to be a quiet, fancy restaurant.

"A french restaurant?" I questioned suspiciously.

"What? You're not fond of fine dining?" He said in a mock poised accent.

I laughed and smacked his chest lightly. Thank goodness we were semi-formally dressed from work. The host looked us up and down with a slight grimace. "Name?"

"Farro." Josh answered, unmoved by the mans obvious distaste for us.

The waiter looked at his list and nodded once, grabbing two menus. "This way." He told us, sticking his head up slightly as he glided into the room. Josh and I exchanged smirks as we followed him obediently. He seated us at a table in the back lit by candle light. "Let me know when you are ready to order." He said before gliding away.

"Did you see how he walks? Its insane." I laughed, opening up the menu.

He laughed and opened up his. "I can barely see in here. Ambiance is overrated." He muttered with a small smile. "Then again, you can barely read the menu. French is confusing."

"Let's just pick something off the menu and hope for the best." I laughed, trying to understand the menu.

Josh waved over the waiter and he came gliding back "Have you made your decision?" he asked in another poised twang.

"I'll have the cervelle de vache frits and she'll have the Cuisses de grenouilles marinées."

"Excellent choice Monsieur and Madamoiselle. I'll be back shortly with your plates."

"Do you have any idea what we just ordered?" I asked him, leaning closer with a smile.

He leaned closer to me as well. "Not a clue."

 

A half an hour later the waiter came back with our orders and places them both in front of us. "For you, Monsieur-" he lifted off the lid. "Fried cows brains. and for you Madamoiselle," he said, now taking my lid off. "Pickled frogs legs."

My mouth literally fell open and I snapped it back shut to attempt a smile and say thank you before he glided away. Josh started to burst out laughing as I looked at my plate wide eyed. Sure enough, there were at least 6 legs on my plate. My stomach churned a little. "It's not that funny Mr.fried cows brains!" I snappped.

He kept laughing until he was red in the face and his eyes were watery. Once he composed himself he cleared his throat. "Well, apparently they are 'excellent choices'  So we can at least attempt to try it." He suggested.

I complied and stabbed my fork into a leg and he cut into his brain. We took a bite at the same time and I watched his face twist into disgust as he chewed and swallowed bravely. I spat mine into my napkin gracefully.

Once Josh could talk again, he looked at me with a smile. "Taco bell?" I suggested.

He laughed and nodded wiping his mouth with a napkin. Then he raised his hand to call the waiter. "Check please."

 

 

On Friday, 16/10/09:
-Short Stack on Sunrise, Channel 7 Friday morning! 7 - 7:30ish am
They're doing a meet and greet afterwards, if you want to go it's at the Channel 7 Studios in Martin Place!

-3OH!3's Australian Tour hits the Metro Theatre in Sydney on Friday. It is Liscenced and All Ages. Doors open 7pm. Tickets can be purchased from Metro Theatre Box Office 02 9550 3666 www.wetrotheatre.com.au, Ticketek on 132 849 or www.ticketek.com.au

-Kenny Vasoli's Solo Australian Tour also hits Sydney on Friday at Hype Central Youth Centre. The Mission In Motion is opening for them. It is All Ages. Ticket prices are: $20.30 You can purchase them at http://www.moshtix.com.au/default.aspx? or call Moshtix 1300 438 849

On Saturday, 17/10/09:
-There's a local festival and my friend is singing at her first live gig, which will be exciting because I am totally stoked for her. I, of course will there supporting but not for long unfortunately because ...

- My PIANO EXAM is on the same day! :( I am so nervous and I really hope I stay calm and I don't stuff up! I mean it's 7th Grade (if I pass this I'm on to my final grade, 8th), I just really hope I do well and achieve atleast a B, I've got my fingers crossed. I aced the theory, hope I'm as good in the practical.

On Sunday, 18/10/09:
-Get ready to go back to school, memorise my essay and study some more for exams.
___________________________________________________________________________

I really want to go see Short Stack but piano is the main priority at the moment, it's too early to go the city anyway and I could always watch it at home instead of squishing with other fans, (it's school holidays they'll all be there). Plus I have a last minute piano lesson... better stay at home and practice some more. As the common phrase and one of Cute Is What We Aim For's song, "Practice Makes Perfect."

That's all for now, thankyou for reading!

PS. If you haven't seen, 'The Maine Wanted' video, please check it out if you have time. It's about getting
The Maine to come tour Australia :)

Love bRi.anna.

for all the dead lie down.
it was not night for all the bells,
put their tounges for noon.

it was not frost for on my flesh,
i could feel the sirccos crawl.
nor fire because my marbel feet
could keep a channel cool

and yet it tasted like them all;
the figures i have seen
set orderly for burial,
reminded me of mine,

first half of emily dickison's poem it was not death for i stood up.

i have to learn the whole poem for english, but tomrorow we have to write half of it.
I basically just cramed it tonight and the end i have the most trouble with.
but i mainly wrote that from memory cept the end i had a little trouble :c
well i have a three hour period earth science with mr.stafford i can get more cramping done then,
I really dont like him I have a C+ in his class. and i have a C in world history?! im great in that class :p
I just took a quiz today which I think I did pretty well on, so good :D
and i have a A in english and spanish?! what is going on with this xD
really those two classes are the hardest, :p ohwell im not going to complain :p

Today I'm in this i-dun-care-what-you-think-i-will-do-what-i-want mood. when im in this mood I feel the urge to dye my hair brown :p its like IN YOUR FAYCE I DO WHATEVER c: ahah
but im kinda over that,

This friday I miiight hang with brianna at a hotel?? :p
it be fun,
then Saturday im with Dominic, <3
maybe? hes not talkig to me at all.
which really isnt a huge deeal but its kinda driving me insane.
:p

I was thinking today of a cooolass picture
like i took a picture of my TV
then imma take a picture of me and like put me in the TV
but like darken it up so it looks like im the reflexon in the TV
:D i fink it look cool x3

^^thats my favorite ahaha.
i tired to take some on timer but those all fail x3


i looooooooooove that skirt xD

up&dowwn pictures are my favoriteeeeeeeeeeeeeee, :]


my makeup looked like a sunrise // sunset :D

I took some more pictures with my webcam todayy but im not going to post those c:

anyways, wish me luck tomororow. arg i dont want to deal with mr.stafford for three hours.
i will go more insane,
more insane than dominic is already driving me

well i hope your tomororw is more pleasant then mine,

love and hope,
Hannah Lauren Allen, <3

running away from the sunrise,
she can't leave the night behind.
every night is the same, don't remember, just drink.
every morning routine, don't sleep, just leave.
he sits in the passenger seat, lost in his thoughts.
watching her glance behind, hoping the sun just got lost.
watching disappointment wash over her face,
when she sees the darkness fade to light.
watching her break down behind the wheel, yet again.
he just sits there and waits for the day,
when she sleeps in a bed at night, no alcohol in sight,
and wakes in the same town from the sunrise she used to run from.
warm in his arms again, like when they were young.

What am I doing up at almost 5:30 in the morning?
I stayed up through the night, and it is now the early morning, and I can hear the birds chattering at a boisterous noise level.
I actually love the sound of the birds early in the morning. I feel like I'm eavesdropping on them.
While I'm on the subject of the ungodly hours of the morning, let me brush upon sunrises.
Gah. They are beautiful. And I think I regard them a little higher than I do sunsets.
Most everyone can see the sun set if they choose to, since most are awake at the time of a sunset.
But a sunrise feels like a personal experience. I think getting up (or staying up, in my case) early is a cozy experience in and of itself.
Enough of my senselessness, I hope you are all getting more sleep than I am.

How was your easter everyone?

Mine was... Okay

We went to mass and left right after Communion because there was no way in Hell my sister and I were going to be able to last another minute in there without our Ipods.



I love you Jesus.

I just don't love the Catholic Church.

Why?




That's why.

Then we went to my grandparents' home, Sunise Assisted Living, for Sunday Brunch.

On the Menu was Chicken Kiev, Roasted Leg of Lamb, Filet Mignon, and Roast Beef.

For me, this was great, because I am a vegetarian.

Luckily they had veggie burgers on a whole other menu. We just had to wait longer and make the waitress that much more confused. So we had dessert first, which was on a buffet tray.

I had this:




My dad had this:



However, it turned out that the entrees were so bad that my sister and Dad were actually envying me my veggie burger.

Their lamb made them sick.

Which is only fair, as they took me to Chima's  Brazillian Meat restaurant the night before.

At Chima's, you have a card on your table, and when you turn it over, dudes with giant slabs of meat come over and cut you slices.

Slices like these:



They have a huge salad bar.


That day also, my sister Sarah brought me to lunch at Macaroni Grill, where they have THE BEST MUSHROOM RAVIOLI EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then she took me shopping for an Easter outfit and an outfit for my Class Ring Ceremony where girls can not wear pants, skirts above the knee (very intelligent move on my school's part, because we all know the stores are selling long skirts now that Spring is sort of happening), or show the most sexual of body parts, the shoulders.




I know you're totally looking at this chick's shoulders right now.

But no doubt, the best part of my Easter weekend was seeing my mom totally drunk outside of Chima's and yelling "GOD DAMN IT!!!!" in front of a bunch of people.

(It ws a funny drunk, not  tragic drunk, trust me, my mom is totally sober most of the time)


Fin.