stewieismyhomeboy Blog and Journals

Make no mistake, there will come a day when some poor schmucks will decide to use lines from Twilight as pick-up lines. Hell, it's probably happening already.
Gals, you already know how to respond to regular-old pick-up lines. Now, I am going to give you responses to Twilight pick-up lines.

He says: "You're my own personal brand of heroin."
You say: "And you're my own personal brand of cyanide."

He says: "You need a healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you."
You say: "What I need is for you to not talk to me."

He says:  "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone."
You say: "I don't unerstand why you won't leave me alone."

He says: "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."
You say: "And then the lamb told the lion to fuck off."

He says: "You're intoxicated by my very presence."
You say: "Nah. I just feel like barfing."

He says: "Shall I explain how you are tempting me?"
You say: "Shall I explain how you are sickening me?"

He says: "Your wish, my command."
You say: "I wish for you to leave me alone."

He says: "I prefer brunettes."
You say: "I prefer...not you."

Do you have any ideas for a good response to Twilight pick-up lines? Share them!

WARNING: This is made purely for humorous purposes. I suggest you not use Twilight as a guide for picking up chicks. Also, if you are going to flame me, remember that people's opinions differ from yours.