crappy haiku movie review of the week - pulp fiction

as we all know, there's no shortage of movie review sites out there on the web. but who among us hasn't longed for movie reviews in the form of really crappily done japanese poetry? i know i sure have!

so once a week, i'll be dedicating a journal entry to a movie review in the form of a really crappy haiku.

this week's movie was basically a 154-minute tribute to the complete and utter badassery that is samuel l. jakcson. in fact, it was originally supposed to be called pulp badass, but that title had already been taken by an underground late 70's action flick where chuck norris plays an assassin who prefers pulp in his orange juice.

- it's pulp fiction! (suggested by emoisforluvers)





pulp badass fiction

hitmen talk burgers

travolta dances like mad

sam jackson cusses

the end

p.s. feel free to hit me up with any suggestions, and you might just get to see one of your favorite movies summed up in a really crappy haiku...


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Posted by starlorsummers on 07/20/2009 12:20 PM Visits: 132
xcollapsingcities: 07/20/2009 12:41 PM
LOL.
Travolta dances like mad.
This is major badassery.
bizarreland: 07/20/2009 12:51 PM
And Zed is Dead !!!!
One of the best movies ever made.......Brilliant, violent, brutal and Hilarious !!!
I have a large old school pulp fiction poster framed in my bedroom...probably my favorite tarantino film with Kill Bill running in at a tie ^_^

What's genius about pulp is that among other things about it, it's considered violent but you hardly see any of the actual violence onscreen (except the zed's basement segment...yeesh!)...i.e. when travolta and jackson blow away the character "bret" you don't see him getting loaded with bullets...just the 2 of them shooting at Bret, leaving you to your imagination.

Anyways, awesome crappy haiku! LOL

Pulp Mothafuckin' Fiction

Jackson is badass

Travolta and Thurman dance crazy

Thurman overdoses

Zed dead.

(I have to give bizzareland credit for the last line ;)
The Lizard Queen: 07/20/2009 1:42 PM
And Zed is Dead !!!! One of the best movies ever made.......Brilliant, violent, brutal and Hilarious !!!
AGREED!!!!!

Great haiku :D
starlorsummers: 07/20/2009 1:53 PM
LOL.
Travolta dances like mad.
This is major badassery.
or possibly even badassitude. thank you!

And Zed is Dead !!!!
One of the best movies ever made.......Brilliant, violent, brutal and Hilarious !!!
and it has probably the best dialogue of any gangster movie.

I have a large old school pulp fiction poster framed in my bedroom...probably my favorite tarantino film with Kill Bill running in at a tie ^_^
yeah, i think pulp fiction was a better movie overall, but i like the kill bill movies a little bit more. probably because of all the kung fu fighting. those cats were fast as lightnin', you know."


AGREED!!!!!

Great haiku :D
thank you!
Neil Patrick Harris: 07/20/2009 2:04 PM
"sam jackson cusses"
That could be every movie he's been in
starlorsummers: 07/20/2009 2:45 PM
"sam jackson cusses"
That could be every movie he's been in
not so! the incredibles. although i'm sure he had to try really hard not to cuss in that one :)
Neil Patrick Harris: 07/20/2009 2:57 PM
"sam jackson cusses"
That could be every movie he's been in
not so! the incredibles. although i'm sure he had to try really hard not to cuss in that one :)
You didn't hear the "Where the **** is my ****ing super suit?"
starlorsummers: 07/20/2009 3:08 PM

You didn't hear the "Where the **** is my ****ing super suit?"
dammit! i knew i should've watched the uncensored version!
Bye Bye Blackbird: 07/20/2009 6:58 PM
WHAT DOES MARCELLUS WALLACE LOOK LIKE?...DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?

What a badass haiku! Thanks for taking my suggestion! I love it! ;D
katiejrod: 07/20/2009 8:08 PM
this was my dad's favorite movie! well, one of... he also LOVED caddyshack.
anywho, i think the poem suits it very well.
Ultra Violet: 07/21/2009 2:55 AM
tigressanele said:
You didn't hear the "Where the **** is my ****ing super suit?"
dammit! i knew i should've watched the uncensored version!
omg, there was an uncensored version?!1 i have to watch it.

btw great haiku :D
sappysuperunknown10: 07/22/2009 10:37 AM
Oh yeah! this is pretty much my favorite movie evar. Whenever I get a chance to randomly quote it I feel so badass, going all "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT?!" on people, and I like to believe everyone is secretly whispering "omg she's so badass let's not mess with her", but not really :/ but I love it anyway, and that haiku was brill.
iska: 07/23/2009 6:51 AM
cool :D
renata aka helen: 07/23/2009 6:45 PM
there is no one badasser than samuel l. jackson (however, even he couldn't save "snakes on a plane" from dumb-assery)
Total: 18 1 2
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