rehab Blog and Journals

I'm so fucking lost it's not even funny. I took a 28 day vacation from life and figured some things out that have been bugging me for a while, but now, 2 years after I have returned things just aren't as easy as I thought they would be. I guess I thought if I better myself the world around me would tag along for the ride....it didn't. Luckily, my new and improved me has a better out look on how to handle some situations but, I just wish there was a way to avoid them all together. I mean it's not like I don't want to pay taxes or anything... I know somethings are impossible to avoid but little things like men turning out to be boys and best friends turning out to be whores should be optional in life. I understand that you have to choose your friends wisely but how can you tell if they're closet psychos? At what point in time do you have to just stop having faith in the human race? Or better yet how appropriate is it to point out to an old friend that her obvious self-loathing is pathetic and is draining the possibilities of anyone, man or woman, ever respecting her? How do tell an old friend that you can no longer be friends, because they do the same thing you used to but don't any more, without being a hypocrite? How do ask someone you've already made a not-so-good long lasting impression on to give the new you a chance? How do you stop yourself from glamourizing the lifestyle you had that almost killed you, when you truly miss all the fun times? how do you move on when it seems there's nothing ahead of you to strive for? What do you do when the most common answer you're given is just to pray but, you don't belive in any higher power? How do you change the world? How can one person make a difference? Please tell me, I need to know.