Cooking with Sparky
I've decided I want to make a cooking show. It'll be called "Cooking With Sparky" and the main character will be a 3 toothed homeless man with incredible skills of cooking over a metal can filled with burning paper. He could teach you how to make eggs in a bean can, all the while screaming about how the government is beaming thoughts into his head with giant radio towers, and how the radio waves make his penis not work.
Even better, we could swap out which hobo it is every week. They'd get paid well, be off the streets for a bit, and we'd have the best thing since iron chef.
